In The Pink

Do you get embarrassed easily? I don’t….for most things. I am the lethal combination of possessing no filter and zero shame, so…there’s usually all sorts of wreckage smoking by the time each day is over, and I’m rarely bothered about any of it. However, there are certain things that embarrass the living hell out of me – and they are SO weird. Let’s take a look, shall we?

1) Dancing in public

There was a time when I was a public-dancing fool, when I shook my arse (and everything else) at the slightest provocation, and I did that shit like it was my job. I looooved dancing, and it mattered not one iota to me that I had two left feet and no rhythm whatsoever…who cares???! Dancing was awesome!! However, I moved away from my sweet little hometown, home of dancing greats such as Sandy B, Colleen A, and their aerobic Jane Fonda-esque moves…and Lisa L, originator of the great arm roll (a dance move where you lean forward, arse wayyyyyout, bob up and down at the waist like a chicken, and roll your arms over each other like a barrel in front of you – the reality of it is even better than this description, for reals)…and found real people of rhythm. I knew that I was out of my league. I wasn’t at the Community Hall anymore, purposely shaking my groove thang next to these dancing spastics in the hopes that I’d look better by comparison….what was I going to do? I’ll tell you what I did – I quit dancing. Done. No more rump shaking for me (probably a good thing by public safety standards, as I’ve got A LOT of rump and all that shaking could be dangerous). I kind of miss it. When I’m in my house, I jig all over the place, frequently bouncing around the house like Meredith and Cristina from ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ (if those women had jiggly bits)….but in public, I’m the master of the head bob. That’s it. It’s dumb of me, I know, but I think that I resemble Elaine from ‘Seinfeld’ when I dance, so I don’t do it. See Exhibit A:

Click on the image to see what I look like when I dance! :-)

Click on the image to see what I look like when I dance! :-)

 

I think I should embrace this philosophy instead:

Click on the image for the video :-)

Click on the image for the video :-)

 

 

2) Farting in bed

Remember this hellacious momen from ‘Sex and the City’? I do. It scarred me for life…because it’s happened. More than once. To Me. Ugh. I die.

 

Click the video and prepare to giggle. If you don't, there's something wrong with you.

Click the video and prepare to giggle. If you don’t, there’s something wrong with you.

 

3) People you don’t know serenading you with music

There are restaurants in San Antonio that I avoid because, despite their good food, they also have roving mariachi bands…and I don’t know what to do when they come near. Do I look at them? For how long? Do I continue eating? Talking? Drinking? I don’t know what to do and it stresses me out!!! Argh!!! A few years ago, a former student invited me to a concert she was doing – she performed with a mariachi band, and sang beautifully (she had CDs and everything!). While at the performance, she announced that she had a special guest of honor there – her teacher and her family! The crowd cheered, I gave a little wave and wanted to die of embarrassment, and tried to get back to chowing down on my flauta. However, the surprises weren’t over – she announced that brand new band singer Juan was going to celebrate my honored attendance by singing a song to me.  I didn’t know what to do, or where to go…so I sat, smile frozen on my face, and prayed it would be over soon. Juan was about 14 years old, dressed in mariachi finery, and on bended knee in front of me singing a romantic song….me, old enough to have birthed him. It was mortifying, I didn’t know where to look – and I didn’t have a hot clue what he was singing about because it was en espagnol. The worst part was that the bloody song lasted 12 minutes (could have been the Spanish version of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ perhaps?). It was torturous….but bless Juan’s heart for having the fortitude to keep staring romantically at me for all that time, and for not falling over whilst on bended knee. I bet that Juan will make a kick-ass husband some day! :-)

Not Juan, sadly.

Not Juan, sadly.

 

4) Bad manners

I find poor manners to be so totally embarrassing….I can hardly stand it. I get really irritated when people exhibit no manners or class, but then I get so embarrassed if they are with me and do it in front of others. Argh! Case in point – a number of years ago, I invited someone that I knew to spend a holiday dinner with my family and I. This person exhibited such a complete and utter lack of manners that I was totally appalled, and SO embarrassed. No explanation was offered…nothing. I eventually wrote the following email to this offender (this is an excerpt – there’s far more to it):

I have been waiting to see how long it would take you to reach out and talk to me about things, and I have come to the conclusion that the answer is a very long time to never, so…I guess I will take the initiative.
I was really hurt by what went down when you came over to my house. Do you know why I told you that I preferred to do the cooking myself? It was because you had been so critical of me and my ideas for dinner whenever I shared them with you. I spend most of my days being critical of myself – I don’t need to hear it from you. I was pretty embarrassed, I will tell you honestly, with things that day. Did you happen to notice that no matter what I asked you, offered you, etc , that you NOT ONCE said ‘please’ or ‘thank you’? You did the same to my parents…and guess what? I noticed – as did everyone else. I simply don’t know what to say about a lack of manners…I don’t get it. I understand that as a Canadian I am probably more obsessed with etiquette and manners than the regular person, but…you know that about me already. Is it so hard to be polite? I’m doubtful. Perhaps you don’t feel that I deserve thank yous, is that it? I paid for a dinner that we had shared a couple of days before this family gathering…and you said nothing. I thanked you for having dinner with me – and you said NOTHING. You didn’t even have the decency to say thank you for dinner.  I was so shocked that I couldn’t leave quick enough – I’m sure you noticed. I just don’t get it.

The funny thing about this email? I never sent it. I didn’t see the point…but I kept it to remind myself of how this felt. Truthfully, anyone who exhibits such a complete and utter lack of class wasn’t worthy of my attention or thought. Grr. Whatever. This taught me to be thoughtful – and only reinforced my idea that manners are important, and that people without them are not the kind of people that I want to be around. Ick.

 

5) Looking stupid

I get very embarrassed when I think that I look stupid and that people are laughing at me.  I don’t mean all the time….I mean when I’m sharing emotions or the few rare times that I’m actually being serious. Most of the time, I act kind of silly and goofy, using lightheartedness and humor to mask what I’m really feeling. Very rarely, however, I will lay my heart out on the table….and look out if I think I’m being mocked.  I get so embarrassed, shut down completely, and try desperately to hide (not unlike Carrie when she burrowed under the blankets in shame post-fart up there in that video). This is very stupid thinking, I rationally know….I need to learn to own my emotions and be up front about it all, but….I’m pretty sure I need years of therapy to get to that place. Anyone interested in taking on a new patient??! ;-)

 

image

Now….how about you? What gets you blushing, friends? :)

 

xxx

 

From The Heart

‘Tis the season for Christmas shopping, friends! :-) Have you started tackling your shopping list yet? If you are one of those people that are already finished wth your shopping and all the wrapping is done as well then you might as well move on…this is clearly NOT the place for someone like you. Grr.

I’ve been kind of blocked when it comes to Christmas gift inspiration this year…it’s worrying. I’ve less than a month to go, and I’ve barely scratched the surface! I spent some time this week perusing the online ads, and I think (hope!) that I’ve sparked some ideas and started the creative juices flowing. Here’s some gift ideas for you, my lovelies! :-)

 

1) Earrings:These earrings are awesome! All are from my beloved Catbird, and I think they are fab!! :-)

cb_heartstudRG

I am so feeling rose gold at the moment! :-)

moonss

I have the ring that matches these Dark Side of the Moon earrings…I love these! :-)

cb_star_moon_studs_web_RG

These come as singles, so I suppose you could get a matched pair, but….why would you? The mismatch is where the charm is! :-)

 

2) Something from Catbird:

I do realize that it’s dumb of me to make a new category for Catbird when I just shared earrings from Catbird, but….there are other pretties available on their site! Take a look! :-)

catbird-nyc-rose-gold-heart-ring

Rose gold again!! And it matches the earrings up there!! And it’s adorable….and affordable!! :-)

This necklace - the Choupette - is so magnificent that I can't even find the words!!! I LOVE it!!! Amazing!!! Gorgeous!!! ❤️❤️❤️

This necklace – the Choupette – is so magnificent that I can’t even find the words!!! I LOVE it!!! Amazing!!! Gorgeous!!! ❤️❤️❤️

 

3) Anything Moleskine! :)

Dammit, but I love me some Moleskine notebooks…I write constantly, and there’s no better notebook around. Buying one (ore more!) of these babies will make you very popular!! :-)

 

Yaa!!! :-)

Yaa!!! :-)

 

4) Record Player:

I’m not sure why, but I’m nearly overwhelmed with the desire to have a record player. I want one SO badly!! Here’s the one I’m hoping for:

I die!!!

I die!!!

 

Pretty, eh? I love it so much!! There’s just something so awesome about the sound of music played on a record player….LOVE! :-)

 

5) Sharpies:

I bloody love doodling with Sharpies…if only I had artistic talent!!! :-(

image

 

6) Amazon Fire TV:

This will be released on January 15th…and I think I’d like to try it out! :-)

 

image 7) A New Watch:

I’m obsessed with watches….I love giving them, I love receiving them – they’re practical, plus I love the romantic notion of giving the gift of time. :-) ❤️❤️❤️ Here are a couple of my favorites:

My dream watch is a Cartier, but this version from Invicta will more than do instead!! I am crazy for rectangular,  Roman numeral watches....and this one is a beauty!!! :-)

My dream watch is a Cartier, but this version from Invicta will more than do instead!! I am crazy for rectangular, Roman numeral watches….and this one is a beauty!!! :-)

I'm crazy about this men's watch! Classic, simple - and awesome!! :-)

I’m crazy about this men’s watch! Classic, simple – and awesome!! :-)

 

I hope that your shopping is going well, and I hope that Santa brings you everything you could possibly want for the upcoming holiday season…and then some! :-) Happy HoHo, mes amis!!! :-)

 

xxx

 

Reflection

It’s Friday now, which means back to work on Monday. While I’ve not done anything terribly big or exciting this week, I do believe that what I’ve done was precisely what I needed – I spent a lot of time at home (which was glorious), I smothered my child with love, hugs and kisses (which is guaranteed to cure almost anything that ails you), and I took time to reflect on some things that have been weighing heavily on my mind recently. For starters, I’m meant to be having arm surgery in December, and I’ve decided not to go ahead with it for now. This operation has been on the books since the summer, but I’ve kept putting it off and putting it off…which is so unlike me. I have such an awful feeling about the whole damn thing – I think about it, I start to panic, my breathing quickens, and I break out in a cold sweat. It’s stupid. I’ve endured 14 operations on my arm (14!!!!), as well as three other surgical procedures, so I should be cool with the whole process. But I’m not, not even a little bit. On Monday night, I woke up at 2:10am, hyperventilating about the whole thing, and I never made it back to sleep. I was overwhelmed with feelings of fear, and dread…and it’s just not worth it. I will suck it up and deal with the pain that I suffer from every day, and get the work done when I just can’t take it anymore. Maybe I will feel better about it then – but for now, it’s a no go. Once I came to that conclusion on Tuesday, I felt considerably better, and the rest of the week has passed with somewhat less stress. Bonus!

image

Ive been considering a number of other things, as well. I know that I’m a bit of a pain in the ass as far as it goes – I always quote Mindy Kaling when I say, “I’m a handful, I’m not for everyone”. However, I’m learning (at the ripe old age of 40) that my days of settling and accepting things that I’m not comfortable with are done. I have quit saying yes to things that I don’t want to do, and I am actively working on not spending time with people whose company I don’t particularly enjoy. I have noticed lately how very ill-mannered some people around me are – and, while in the past I may have turned a blind eye and just ignored it – I’m done with that, too. I don’t wish to spend time around people who can’t be polite and gracious – not interested. Instead, I want to surround myself with people I enjoy, people with whom I have common interests, and enjoy some good, solid conversation. I don’t want to work so hard on relationships with people around me anymore – life is a two way street, it’s not all me and my efforts. I know that, as a natural planner, I often tend to take the lead with people, but I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s annoying, frankly. I hsve spent most of my adult working life telling kids (and adults) what to do – I don’t want to social direct the lives of people around me. Screw that. It’s time for a more laid back approach – I can’t wait to give it a try! :-)

image

This man has got it figured out. ❤️❤️❤️

 

Anyway, I’m planning to enjoy my final few days at home – run a few errands, take care of some stuff around here, and get myself ready for the three week sprint to Christmas vacation. I’m going to continue my couch sitting/movie watching binge that’s been going on all week (and it’s been bloody fantastic), and I’m going to nap like it was an Olympic sport and I’m going for the gold.

It’s going to be GREAT. :-)

 

xxx

 

I’m Like a Bird

I’m happy to report that the funk may be starting to lift…I don’t feel nearly as dreadful as I felt on the weekend, and I think there might be light at the end of the tunnel. I’m hopeful…which is a lot better than I have been feeling! :-)

image

I spent a lot of time at home since last Friday, which has been really great. I’ve watched a ton of good TV, spent time with my Wee One, and enjoyed being home – I don’t do that nearly enough. It’s been good. :-) I went out for dinner and drinks with some of my favorite people on Monday night, and went to the movies again yesterday – this time, I saw “Birdman”, with Michael Keaton, Emma Stone, Naomi Watts, and Edward Norton.  This movie is something else, my friends…the story is so good, but the making of the movie itself is bloody magic – here’s the review of it from my beloved Roger Ebert’s site:

The first time we see Michael Keaton in his tighty-whities in “Birdman,” it’s from behind. His character, a formerly high-flying movie star, is sitting in the lotus position in his dressing room of a historic Broadway theatre, only he’s levitating above the ground. Bathed in sunlight streaming in from an open window, he looks peaceful. But a voice inside his head is growling, grumbling, gnawing at him grotesquely about matters both large and small.

The next time we see Keaton in his tighty-whities in “Birdman,” he’s dashing frantically through Times Square at night, having accidentally locked himself out of that same theatre in the middle of a performance of a Raymond Carver production that he stars in, wrote and directed. He’s swimming upstream through a river of gawking tourists, autograph seekers, food carts and street performers. But despite the chaos that surrounds him, he seems purposeful, driven and–for the first time–oddly content.

These are the extremes that director Alejandro G. Inarritu navigates with audacious ambition and spectacular skill in “Birdman”–the full title of which is “Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance).” He’s made a film that’s both technically astounding yet emotionally rich, intimate yet enormous, biting yet warm, satirical yet sweet. It’s also the first time that Inarritu, the director of ponderous downers like “Babel” and “Biutiful,” actually seems to be having some fun.

Make that a ton of fun. “Birdman” is a complete blast from start to finish. The gimmick here–and it’s a doozy, and it works beautifully–is that Inarritu has created the sensation that you are watching a two-hour film shot all in one take. Working with the brilliant and inventive cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki (who won an Oscar this year for shooting “Gravity” for Inarritu’s close friend and fellow Mexican director Alfonso Cuaron), Inarritu has constructed the most delicate and dazzling high-wire act. And indeed, before shooting began, the director sent his cast a photo of Philippe Petit walking a tightrope between the World Trade Center towers as inspiration.

Through impossibly long, intricately choreographed tracking shots, the camera swoops through narrow corridors, up and down tight stairways and into crowded streets. It comes in close for quiet conversations and soars between skyscrapers for magical-realism flights of fancy. A percussive and propulsive score from Antonio Sanchez, heavy on drums and cymbals, maintains a jazzy, edgy vibe throughout. Sure, you can look closely to find where the cuts probably happened, but that takes much of the enjoyment out of it. Succumbing to the thrill of the experience is the whole point.

Just as thrilling is the tour-de-force performance from Keaton in the role of a lifetime as Riggan Thompson, a washed-up actor trying to regain the former glory he achieved as the winged action hero Birdman. The film follows the fraught early going of his Broadway debut which is also his last shot at greatness–although his on-screen alter ego doesn’t help much by voicing his fears and making him doubt himself incessantly. Yes, it’s knowingly amusing that Keaton, who peaked 20-plus years ago as a superhero, is playing an actor who peaked 20-plus years ago as a superhero. Although I’d happily argue that Keaton’s Batman for Tim Burton in 1989 is THE definitive performance of the iconic character–but that’s a whole ‘nother conversation for another time.

Or is it? While “Birdman” exists in its own meticulously realized world, it’s very much of this time and place from a pop-culture perspective, with references to other real-life actors like Robert Downey Jr. and Michael Fassbender who’ve enjoyed enormous success when they’ve donned the superhero duds. The script from Inarritu, Nicolas Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris and Armando Bo is cleverly meta without being too cutesy and self-satisfied.

Keaton gets to toy with his persona a bit–as well as acknowledge how comparatively quiet his career has been in recent years–but seeing him in seasoned form provides its own joy. He’s still hyper-verbal and playful and he can still be amusing and lacerating in his delivery, but there’s a wry wistfulness and even a desperation in the mix now that’s achingly poignant.

Also confronting his real-life reputation is Edward Norton as Mike Shiner, the brilliant but infamously capricious actor who steps in as Riggan’s co-star just as previews are about to begin on his labor-of-love production of “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love.” Norton, who’s come with the baggage of being difficult and demanding over the years, finds just the right balance between arrogance and sincerity.

Besides, they need each other, as they find in the days leading up to opening night. They all need each other. Inarritu has amassed a tremendous supporting cast and made ridiculous technical demands of them, yet they’ve all more than risen to the occasion and relished the chance to shine.

Zach Galifianakis plays strongly against type as Riggan’s manager and the rare voice of reason in the middle of all this madness. Emma Stone is adorable as Riggan’s world-weary, wise-ass daughter who also serves as his assistant. (She and Norton have crackling chemistry in a couple of crucial scenes.) Amy Ryan does wonders with her brief screen time as Riggan’s ex-wife; she fleshes him out and allows us to see both the selfish and the good in him. And Naomi Watts, who starred in Inarritu’s wrenching “21 Grams,” gets to play both light and heavy moments as a neurotic fellow cast member.

It’s powerfully clear that they all worked their asses of to make this complicated thrill ride look effortless. The result is one of the best times you’ll have at the movies this year–which might even be the best movie this year.

If you have a chance, go and check this one out while it’s still in theaters. I’m sure it’ll still be good to watch at home, but the artistry of the shots and the filmmaking really shine when seen on a big screen. I loved it – I hope you will, too! :-)

I got up early this morning and went grocery shopping at 6:00am – nutty, I know, but such a good plan. I was home, groceries unpacked and put away, and cuddled on the couch by 7:02am! Success!! And minimal shopping crowd! Woohoo!! I’ve got all the grub ready to go for tomorrow – I’m cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and I’m kind of excited about it. I have a couple of new recipes to try out, and I’m looking forward to a day spent at home, the house full of good smells, and just being happy. I need it. :-) (If the recipes turn out well, I will be sure to share them with you!! )

However you are planning to spend the next few days, I hope that you are happy, too…that you are surrounded by those that you love, and that you take a few minutes to count the things that you are thankful for. In case I havent told you lately – I am thankful for you. :-) Happy Thanksgiving! :-)

xxx

 

 

Broken

The funk continues. I think something has broken inside of me – I want to stay home, I don’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone (apart from the Wee One)…I just want the world to go away. This is certainly not the norm for me, I’m usually super social – but I’ve got a serious case of the Rhett Butlers: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. About much. Ugh.

This time hibernating at home has given me some happiness, though – I found a few things online that warmed my increasingly cynical heart:

1) The microphone died at a Toronto Maple Leafs game the other night as the singer sang the American national anthem – not to fear, though, the Canadian fans stepped up and sang along. Nice. :-)

Click on the picture to see the video! :-)

Click on the picture to see the video! :-)

 

2) A teacher in New Jersey set the world record for most pull-ups (chin ups) in a 24 hour period…and he did it to raise money for cancer research in the name of a former student of his who passed away from the disease. If that isn’t the most awesome, hard core thing – love it! :-)

So. Awesome. Click the picture to visit an article with the full story :-)

So. Awesome. Click the picture to visit an article with the full story :-)

 

3) A bunch of pictures that have been sent from the picture heavens to make me feel better. I think. I hope.

This.

This.

Dolly is my spirit animal.

Dolly is my spirit animal.

Love this :-)

Love this :-)

I need to learn this

I need to learn this

 

4) In-n-Out Burger finally opened in San Antonio on Thursday – and I could not be happier. I love In-n-Out, and have been going nuts waiting for their arrival here….imagine my joy to find that their first location is a three minute drive from my work!! This will undoubtedly mean bad things for my already-wide arse, but….who gives a shit? Life is too short to miss out on even one Double Double Animal Style! :-) A really cool thing happened on Thursday – my secretary and I were chattering about our excitement for the grand opening, and a parent who was dropping stuff at school for his daughter heard us. He returned to the office 45 minutes later with a bag of burgers for all of us in the office – how AMAZINGLY kind is that??! I am still blown away by such kindness, and can’t believe that I was not only the witness to such a gesture, but the recipient. Mind blown….heart full.

Good people do exist :-)

Good people do exist :-)

Love love LOVE  ❤️❤️❤️

Love love LOVE ❤️❤️❤️

 

I’m not entirely sure what it’s going to take to get me out of this ditch that I’m wallowing in…and I’ve no idea how long it is going to take. I just know that I feel like a ball of exposed nerves, everything rubs me the wrong way – and I’m not exactly fit for human consumption. I feel like I exist for others to take advantage of, and that I give and give and give – and get nothing in return. I’m sure that I should be okay with that – but I’m just not. :( On Friday night, I went to see the movie “The Theory of Everything” starring the brilliant Eddie Redmayne as Stephen Hawking. His performance was mind-blowing – and the story was pretty great, if perhaps a smidge too sweet. It’s hard to even imagine the triumph of the human spirit as shown in that film, and the story of Stephen and his wife – and what she did for him and their family – is nothing short of incredible. I hope that you’ll go and see this movie – it’s wonderful. :) I doubt that I could be as graceful as Jane under such circumstances!!

I’m off work this week, and all I have planned is cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family, and a few get-togethers with friends (provided I can tear myself from the couch). I plan to spend the rest of my time plowing through good TV and movies, drinking some Beaujolais Nouveau (or Tito’s Vodka – my heart belongs to Tito’s), and just enjoying the peace and quiet of my home. Perhaps this time will be just what I need to heal me, and help me glue the pieces of me back together. I just need to get a broom and a dustpan and sweep them all off the floor – now, where’s the Crazy Glue?

 

xxx

 

 

 

In The Mood

I’ve been having somewhat of a hard time lately, and feeling rather blue. Life has been kicking me around a bit,and I’m afraid that I’ve not dealt with it in the best way. I’ve been grumpy with people, kind of short tempered, and introverted…totally not me. I’ve even been needier than usual (which is saying something, because for all my independence and big talk, I’m one of the neediest mo’fos around. It’s gross, and something I seriously need to change). I’m very disappointed in myself. :-(

I've been feeling as blue as this guy!! :-(

I’ve been feeling as blue as this guy!! :-(

Things at work have been tough,too… I find myself bummed about the behavior of some of the adults around me, but I’ve yet to crack the code on handling it. It’s my job to inspire them and make them want to make better choices-but I can’t seem to figure out how. I’m left scratching my noggin, wondering how I can be inspiring when I’m not terribly inspired myself. As well, I keep getting reports that I’m mean to people, and that I speak harshly to them – which is troubling. I’m not harsh at all. I just tell it like it is, and I don’t suffer fools. I’m very straightforward, which I would think would be a refreshing quality – but apparently it is neither refreshing nor appreciated. I am always respectful, and I always suppress the urge to tell people that I think they are raging arseholes…even when they are. I’m kind of a hero, actually – I should be given the keys to the city. Or maybe a sticker. I’m just not sure why those around me just don’t get it. :-(

 

The truth.

The truth.

The other day, I had to reprimand a student who had done something egregiously stupid. I was surprised by the magnitude of her brain fart…but I managed to soldier on and continue the conversation. The next day, I heard that her father contacted somebody else on staff to complain about the brutal treatment I unleashed on his little girl, and how I tore her apart. I was shell shocked, and afraid that I had suffered a small stroke, since I had done no such thing :-( An hour later, the girl’s mother called me personally, to share some additional information about the situation (which did nothing but reinforce that stupidity runs in that family), and tell me that should I wish to talk to her daughter in the future, I could call her father instead.

Huh.

Excuse me??? I had done NOTHING to deserve this, but because I held the child accountable for her actions and didn’t kiss her ass, then I’m an evil bitch who is mean to kids. I simply don’t get it. When did crap like this become acceptable???! It’s so frustrating, and I’m losing the will to keep trying so hard….which is never a good thing. :-(

I’ve always prided myself on being a try-er. I don’t generally half-ass things – I’m extremely motivated and hard working, but I’m losing sight of why. Why do I try so hard? Why do I put tons of effort in to everything that I do – when I don’t get the same in return? Am I pathetic? It’s starting to feel that way. I fear that those around me are sitting back and laughing at what an idiot I am…and I don’t like those kinds of thoughts. :-( I try to see it this way: I treat people well, the way I want to be treated. I do unto others as I’d like to have done for me…but it rarely happens that way. I’m just tired of trying so hard. :-( Surely I will get a break one of these days?

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I feel like I’ve lost my mojo, somehow….although the jury’s out on exactly how much mojo I had in the first place. I can’t find my stride, I’m acting kinda pathetic, and I’m just not in my groove. Much as I wish I could pull a Stella and hit a tropical island for a shag with a hot man, that’s not going to happen….but something has to give. I’m not enjoying this funk at all. :-( I ordered a book last night that I hope will help me find my way. The book is Danielle LaPlante’s ‘The Desire Map’, and I’m hopeful. Very, very hopeful. Do you know Danielle LaPlante? I wish I knew her personally – I think we’d be peeps. :)

Here’s the synopsis of the book:

 

Your bucket list. Quarterly objectives. Strategic plans. Big dreams. Goals. Lots of goals and plans to achieve those goals-no matter what. Except.

You’re not chasing the goal itself, you’re actually chasing the feeling that you hope achieving that goal will give you.

 Which means we have the procedures of achievement upside down. We go after the stuff we want to have, get, or accomplish, and we hope that we’ll be fulfilled when we get there. It’s backwards. And it’s burning us out.

 So what if you first got clear on how you actually wanted to feel in your life, and then created some “Goals with Soul”?

 With The Desire Map, Danielle LaPorte brings you a holistic life-planning tool that will revolutionize the way you go after what you want in life. Unapologetically passionate and with plenty of warm wit, LaPorte turns the concept of ambition inside out and offers an inspired, refreshingly practical workbook for using the Desire Map process:

 

  • Identify your “core desired feelings” in every life domain: livelihood & lifestyle, body & wellness, creativity & learning, relationships & society, and essence & spirituality
  • Create practical “Goals with Soul” to generate your core desired feelings
  • Why easing up on your expectations actually liberates you to reach your goals
  • Self-assessment quizzes, worksheets, and complete Desire Mapping tools for creating the life you truly long for

 

Goal-setting just got a makeover.

There are more than 10,000 “Desire Mappers” who have worked through this system. “Every day I get stories about inner clarity, quitting jobs, dumping the chump, renewing vows, pole-dancing classes, writing memoirs, moving on,” says Danielle. “This is about liberation. And pleasure. And self-determination. This is about doing much less proving, and way more living.”

If you’ve had enough of trying to trick yourself into happiness through affirmations or bucket-listing your hopes into some distant future, then you’re ready for The Desire Map-a dream-fulfilling system that harnesses your soul-deep desire to feel good.

 

This looks great, eh? I think this is what I need. I’m lost, my darlings…and I want to be found. Now. Thank goodness that next week is a holiday from school – perhaps the time away will be good for my mind, my heart, and my soul.

Time to build my desire map.

 

 

Xxx

 

 

Islands in the Stream

I remember when Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton were all the rage in the ’80s. I’m a longtime worshipper at the temple of Dolly (who isn’t?), but I was never much of a Kenny fan (my mom was, though…she even had a poster of him on the inside of her closet door in her bedroom – so. weird. ) One of my friends from home and I used to giggle and sing “Islands in the Stream” when anyone with boobs (ie: she and I) would swim backstroke in the local pool. Get it? Boobs? Islands? I know. Lame. :-(

Dolly = Perfection :)

Dolly = Perfection :)

Anyway….although I’ve always known all of the words to sing along (because the bloody ditty was EVERYWHERE), I never stopped to listen to them. Until yesterday. Let’s take a look, shall we?

You do something to me
That I can’t explain
Hold me closer and I feel no pain
Every beat of my heart
We got something going on
Tender love is blind
It requires a dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
We can ride it together, ah-ha
Making love with each other, ah-ha

Islands in the stream
That is what we are
No one in between
How can we be wrong
Sail away with me
To another world
And we rely on each other, ah-ha
From one lover to another, ah-ha

I can’t live without you
If the love was gone
Everything is nothing
If you got no one
And you did walk in the night
Slowly losing sight of the real thing

But that won’t happen to us
And we got no doubt
Too deep in love and we got no way out
And the message is clear
This could be the year for the real thing

No more will you cry
Baby, I will hurt you never

We start and end as one
In love forever
We can ride it together, ah-ha
Making love with each other, ah-ha

 

Lovely, don’t you think? I kind of love the words and the ideas presented…I wish someone felt that way about me!! It reminds me of this article that some friends posted online recently (women friends hinting at their husbands) entitled Ten Things To Do For Your Wife Every Year:

When your words and actions are intentional, the hope of a better marriage becomes reality. Here are 10 things to do for your wife every year.

Take a trip alone with her.

Make a big deal about her birthday.

Give her a weekend away.

Get dressed up (suit and tie) and take her on a date.

Pray continually for her and with her.

Take her to the place of your first date.

Give her a week off from “mom duties.”

Take her to a show.

Write a love letter to her.

Give her a head to toe massage without expecting anything.

 

The Best :)

The Best :)

Can you imagine??? I know. Me, neither. I know women, though, who are treated this way monthly….it seems like a fairy tale to me! ;-) Can you imagine….a man in a suit and tie and nobody died??! I love it!! Somebody taking you to a show without you having to book the tickets and make all the arrangements??! That’s bloody magic, that’s what that is!! Crazy town!! I just think that when people try and do anything for those around them to show that they care…it’s pure magic, whether it’s a grand gesture or not. Doing things to make others happy and feel good is one of the best things we can selfishly do for ourselves as well….and we all ought to try it more often. :-) Who knows, friends….2015 is coming quickly, and perhaps with this new year will come a bunch of great things for all of us! Like Kenny and Dolly sang….This could be the year for the real thing. :-)

 

xxx

 

 

 

 

Song For Someone

U2 were on ‘The Graham Norton’ show a couple of weeks ago, and this happened:

Click on the picture to see the video! :-)

Click on the picture to see the video! :-)

 

Dammit, I love talent. :-)

 

xxx

 

pS: U2 was meant to be on Jimmy Fallon’s The Tonight Show ALL WEEK this week!!  However, Bono injured his arm yesterday, requiring surgery, so the are scheduling. Get well wishes to Bono!! :-)

How To Get The Girl

On her new album ‘1989’, Taylor Swift has a song called ‘How to Get the Girl’…I love this idea of a how-to list on how to be with someone – it would certainly take out all of the guess work and make things a whole lot easier, don’t you think? Love this. :-) So….in the spirit of Miss Taylor (of the Nashville Swifts), I present you with a list of how to get me:

(DISCLAIMER: I don’t presume that you want to get me specifically – most of these tips will apply to many females with brains in their heads and feet in their shoes)

 

You want this, don't you?

You want this, don’t you?

1) You mustn’t be lazy. That quality is never desirable, and women who tell you that they are okay with it are lying to you. For real. We want men who are hardworking, motivated, and ambitious. You don’t have to be the next Steve Jobs or a coal miner (those dudes work sooooooo hard it’s insane), but you do have to have some hustle to you. I am driven insane by the laissez faire attitude that is so common these days….’I don’t know, see what happens???’ Come on, guys….let’s get some get up and go!!! :-) Playing video games for hours a day, day after day, while in your sweats and smelling like CheeseDoodles is never cute. Ever.

2) You must woo. You don’t have to go over the top insane and chase me like it’s your job (although that’d be kinda fun, yes?), but you need to show interest. You need to put in the effort. I don’t require grand gestures (but I do think they are cool as hell), but you need to show that you are trying. Tries count for so much, you know that? How else are we supposed to know that you care?

3) You must be kind…and I don’t just mean to me – to everybody. If you treat the server in a restaurant like crap, then the day will come that you’ll treat me like crap, too…and I ain’t having it. If you’re anything less than respectful to the people in the service industry, then I am going to conclude that you think you’re better than other people – and, guess what? You aren’t. We all put our pants on one leg at a time, and nobody is any better than anyone else. Even you. So don’t bother. Just be nice…it’s really not that hard. I promise. :-)

4) You must have a sense of humor…because if we can’t laugh at life, we are likely to cry. Things around us can get really serious, and it’s hard not to get bogged down in the minutiae of life, even the littlest of things becoming massive catastrophes. It shouldn’t be that hard to laugh, my friends…. :-)

5) You must be smart. I can’t respect someone that I think is dumb….no way. And you absolutely must LOVE it that I’m smart. You need to encourage me, and be proud of the fact that in spite of my charm and flawless dance moves, I’m a clever clogs as well. ;-) This needs to be a good thing. :-)

6) You must not think I’m hideous to look at. I would like to say that you must find me cute/beautiful/pretty/gorgeous/attractive, but…let’s be real. I’m not those things, which is okay – it is what it is, but….I do hope that you will find me at least a bit fanciable. :-)

7) Finally, be thoughtful. I have such tremendous respect and admiration for people who are considerate of those around them. I love it when someone sends a message just to say hi, because they are thinking of you….that is great. :-) I think it’s awesome when somebody brings you a little trinket for no reason at all other than they dig the idea of making you smile – that’s awesome. (I truly do mean little trinket – ring pops and candy are always cool….I don’t mean that the poor guy has to go to Jared) Doors being held open, shopping bags being carried for you, someone who takes the garbage out – these things are amazing, awesome – and thoughtful. I love that. :-)

 

image

So….there you have it!! How to get most girls!! Easy, eh? Now…..go on and get started! I can’t wait to hear how you do!! :-)

 

xxx