You’re Beautiful

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I’ve started watching the final season of “Downton Abbey” – I love this show with all my heart, and I’m so sad to say goodbye to it…so I’ve put it off for a few weeks. However, I finally started the first episode last night, and nearly lost my mind with glee – this season is going to be AMAZING!! One of the real standouts for me was watching Mrs Hughes discuss her concerns about marrying Mr Carson with Mrs Patmore…Mrs Hughes doesn’t know if he is going to want a traditional marriage (i.e.: including visits to Pound Town), or if they will live like friendly brother and sister. She is too embarrassed to discuss it with him herself, so the delightful Mrs Patmore embarks on this information quest for her – and much MUCH hilarity ensues! My very favorite part was when Mr Carson says this of Mrs Hughes: “Tell her, Mrs. Patmore, that in my eyes she is beautiful. She asks if I want a full marriage and the answer is yes, I do. I want a real marriage, a true marriage, with everything that that involves.” He then goes on to say that he’s “happy and tickled and bursting with pride” that Mrs Hughes accepted his proposal. Aww…..LOVE. :-) At the end of the episode, she is relieved that he still wants her, and exclaims “Well then, Mr. Carson. If you want me you can have me, to quote Oliver Cromwell, warts and all.” They kiss, and I applauded in my living room. I friggin’ love love, and I love this romance….YAAA!!! :-)

 

 

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Don’t you love it? “In my eyes, she is beautiful” — I could do with hearing that myself. Anyone know any single and available butlers?

xxx

 

PS: The runner up for the best line of the night was from the Dowager Countess…who asked Isobel, “Does it ever get cold on the moral high ground?” Hahahahaha! Dame Maggie Smith is EVERYTHING. :-)

 

Written in the Stars

Good morning – happy 1st day of Love Month! :-) To kick things off, I came across this great article, and couldn’t wait to share it with you. It’s an overview of the astrological signs and their love lives…read mine:

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ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)
Dating style: Impulsive

“Aries is hot blooded and loves the thrill of the chase,” says Fox. “They don’t deal well with overly clingy or emotional behavior.” As for romance, Aries loves spontaneity. When it comes to dating “rules”, for you, there aren’t any. You kind of make it up as you go along, which is part of what makes you so attractive to others.

If you’re female, you don’t give a f**k about outdated rules about making the first move or sleeping with someone on what date. On the con side, you tend to lead people on—as you move on quickly, but on the pro side, you’ll probably be one of the best loves of their life.

You probably fall in love quite easily–or at least, develop crushes quite easily–but settling into a routine is always the hard part for you. (You’re not *particularly* known for your follow-through.) But once you find someone who can argue and move on fast, you’ll know you’ve found the one. (As you might have guessed, you love makeup sex, to which you’re probably thinking: duh. )

 

The accuracy of this is almost comical – heehee! If you happen to know me in real life, what do you think? Pretty spot on, eh? Give the article a read, and see if yours applies to you! :-)

xxx

 

The First, My Last, My Everything

Let’s just talk about this for a moment, shall we?

 

We got it together, didn’t we?
Nobody but you and me
We got it together, baby

My first, my last, my everything
And the answer to all my dreams
You’re my sun, my moon, my guiding star
My kind of wonderful, that’s what you are

I know there’s only, only one like you
There’s no way they could have made two
You’re, you’re all I’m living for, your love I’ll keep for evermore
You’re the first, my last, my everything

In you I’ve found so many things
A love so new, only you could bring
Can’t you see if you, you’ll make me feel this way
You’re like a first morning dew on a brand new day

I see so many ways that I can love you
‘Til the day I die
You’re my reality, yet I’m lost in a dream
You’re my first, my last, my everything

I know there’s only one, only one like you
There’s no way they could have made two
Girl, you’re my reality, but I’m lost in a dream
You’re the first, you’re the last, my everything

 

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have nearly enough Barry White in my life – listening to his music makes me feel fuzzy and sparkly inside…and I have such an urge to do a spirited dance around the room. He and his music were featured A LOT on “Ally McBeal” (I have three episodes left on my binge-watch!)…this scene is fantastic:

The video quality isn’t outstanding, but that is indeed Taye Diggs (that man is sure not ugly, eh? Wowza.) and Robert Downey Jr joining Peter MacNicol (as one of my favorite television characters of ALL TIME – the lovely John Cage) in a unisex bathroom dance party. It’s so awesome. :-) My work place doesn’t have nearly enough dance numbers…that’s going to have to be my goal for this year! Yaaa! :-)

 

What music instantly makes you want to get jiggy, friends? :-)

xxx

 

True Love

Love Month starts next week – most people (myself included) think of February as Love Month because of Valentine’s Day, when really, we should try to make every month Love Month, and celebrate loving those around us all the time, don’t you think? Anyway, in anticipation of the start of Love Month (I’m really into this, can you tell?), I give you the sweetest story EVER:
How He Keeps The Relationship Alive Every Single Day Will Move You

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While many men and women dream of enjoying a romance like the one found in The Notebook, the truth is that the relationship between Noah and Allie Calhoun is fiction. It’s nothing more than a fantastic storyline thought up by Nicholas Sparks. However, the good news is that relationships like theirs do exist in real life.

Meet Jack Potter and his wife, Phyllis. Their story is every bit as good – and, in fact, greater – than the fictional love story portrayed in Hollywood.

The two met in 1941 at a wartime dance hall and quickly fell in love. “I remember it like it was yesterday the first time I met her – she came up to me and asked me to dance,” Jack told Daily Mail. A mere 16 months later, the couple was married.

Jack then documented every bits of their life, the holidays they took, and even their daily conversations in the diary.

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Jack and Phyllis have been married for more than 70 years and Phyllis now suffers from dementia. In order to keep their relationship alive, Jack visits her in retirement home on a daily basis and reads her excerpts from the diary he’s kept for the past seven decades – just like Noah does in The Notebook. They laugh, reminisce, and even steal a kiss every now and then.

 

And while times haven’t always been easy, their love has flourished as a result of one simple decision: Choosing love every single day. “Phyllis means everything to Jack,” said a manager at the home where she resides. It’s clear that – even though she may not always realize it now – Jack means everything to Phyllis, too.

 

I’m not going to lie to you…this story had me straight up boo-hooing like you would not believe. How amazing is this, eh? I am so touched by the fact that this man kept track of their lives like this in the first place (which is so friggin’ romantic that I’m swoooooooning), but the vision of him cuddling his beloved and reading to her just busts my heart wide open. Love this so much. :-) These two are adorable…and yet, I can’t even get a man to call me on the damn phone. Hmmm…..

 

What’s your favorite love story, my friends? Send me a note about it – I’ll be waiting. Let the swooning begin! :-)

Xxx

 

Don’t Break My Heart Slow

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I continue to binge watch my way through the seasons of Ally McBeal (nearly done!), and this song came on a few episodes ago…and it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. Let’s give it a look, shall we?


I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken,
Do you say, do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

But I’d rather you be mean than love and lie
I’d rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I’d rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don’t you break my heart slow

I like the way you’d hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you’d say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, do you mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

Well I’d rather you be mean than love and lie
I’d rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I’d rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don’t you break my heart slow

You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home still thinking that we’re together
I wanted our love to last forever
I was believing in you

Well I’d rather you be mean than love and lie
I’d rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I’d rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don’t you break my heart slow

 

That chorus just kills me, because it is so.friggin.true. I don’t know anyone who enjoys being lied to or misled, do you? This idea has been on a constant loop in my head recently – I’ve grown so tired of people around me bullshitting me, thinking that their lies are sparing my feelings. It’s exhausting – and mean. Why can’t people just be honest? I know that I’m not everybody’s cup of tea – that’s fine, a lot of people aren’t for me, either. However, I find that those who lead me on are the worst, they shine a light of hope where darkness lives…only to have that light turn out to be a mirage. It hurts. I keep going back to someone telling me a few weeks ago that shitty things keep happening to me with other people because I try too hard – I hate that, but it’s true. I try to treat others the way that I want to be treated, and I guess I want someone to try really hard with me. Yet it never happens. WTF?

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I found this article online – 10 Signs You’re in a One-Sided Relationship – it’s a bit of a revelation. Here are the signs:

1. You always make the plans.

2. You are always ready to drop everything when your partner needs you, but they’re not. 

3. You constantly feel vulnerable, and not in a good way. 

4. When it comes to spending time together, your partner makes you feel like they have better things to do. 

5. You feel the need to apologize for things you shouldn’t apologize for.

6. They act like talking on the phone or texting or communicating in any way is like a chore or a hassle. 

7. You feel stressed about things you shouldn’t. You constantly worry that the relationship is out of balance, or that you’re trying too hard, or that they’d rather be somewhere else, or a million other things.

8. You feel bad when you ask them to go to things with you, like your work holiday party or that new movie that looks really bad but that you really want to see. 

9. You feel the need to explain your significant other to your friends and family. 

10. You make an effort to invite them into your life and to make them a part of it, but they do not do the same for you. 

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Well…slap my arse and call me Sally! That’s me!! I do these things!!! OMG!!!! It doesn’t matter if it’s relationships with friends, coworkers, the opposite sex…I do this shit over and over and over again! ARGH!!!!! I am forever trying to plan things with people – I always have been. It’s like I was born without the gene that allows you to wait for people to invite you to do stuff…it’s pathetic. I apologize all the time (but I am Canadian, and we Canucks have an extreme fondness for the word ‘sorry’), and I constantly feel bad about stuff (constantly). This list is unnerving….methinks I had best hit the Google machine again to see what exactly I can do to get over these things before I drive myself nuts and spend the rest of my days ALONE.

Ideas?

xxx

 

I Will Always Love You

Please join me in wishing the DIVINE Dolly Parton a very happy 70th birthday! How is it possible that my favorite sparkly butterfly is 70???! We should all be this fabulous at any age, don’t you think? Let’s look at some of Dolly’s greatest:

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Don’t you just LOVE her? I know….me, too. :-) Here’s a couple of her songs, guaranteed to brighten your day:

 

This is the best thing ever:

 

I regularly refer to Dolly as my spirit animal – she and I are both members of the big hair, bigger boobs club…and I think that she is just the greatest person. One of the happiest days of my life was spent at her theme park (Dollywood is the BEST, and if you haven’t been there yet, RUNDONTWALK immediately to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee for a fantastic good time!), and I can’t wait to plan a trip there with the Wee One – she will love it. :-)

Happy 70th, Dolly! :-) May we all be so lucky to be this fabulous at 70! :-)

xxx

PS: Further proof that Dolly is everything – her arms and boobs are covered in butterfly and flower tattoos. My love and heart just grew for her. :-)

Tell It To Me Straight

As you know if you’re a regular Pretty Thing reader, I do A LOT of reading, and I like to spend a good piece of time focusing on how to become a better me. I used to think that I needed to be better because I kinda sucked, but now I’m just working on fine-tuning the awesome – I like who I am today, but I know that I could always be better. I came across this article this morning, and wanted to share it with you:

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If you’re a rational human being, then you probably have a tiny voice in your head that tells you why certain things are possible and other things aren’t. Most of the time, this is a good voice that can keep you safe. “No, you can’t fly if you jump off this ledge,” the voice will say.

However, this voice can often go too far, actually keeping us locked up in a boring existence within our hobbit-holes! This is the voice we need to keep quiet if we’re going to turn life into an adventure, because it can derail us if we’re not careful.
Fortunately for you, I’m going to systematically and thoroughly destroy any argument this voice in your head might have, so we can shift the focus away from, “I can’t, because …” and toward “Okay, this is my current situation, let’s fix it.”

1. “I don’t have time.”
The most common excuse I hear every day for why people can’t level up their lives is “I just don’t have enough time.” We’ve all said it before, and it’s probably the loudest argument that voice in our head will make. We say, “I don’t have time” when life gets busy or when we don’t want to feel guilty about skipping something.

Starting today, that voice in your head is no longer allowed to utter those words. Instead, use the phrase, “It’s not a priority.” Watch how quickly your perspective shifts when looking at life’s challenges this way: “I’d love to exercise, but I just don’t have time” becomes “exercising isn’t a priority.”

With 168 hours in a week, time is our most precious resource. Your priorities, whether you say so or not, are where you choose to spend those hours. It’s not what you say that’s important to you, it’s what you DO that’s important to you.

Of course, if you’re a single mom working three jobs, then I get it: taking care of the kids and putting food on the table understandably must be prioritized over most things. In this situation, we can accept the fact that the Game of Life is being played on Legendary difficulty and you can try to find opportunities to work on the things that will improve your situation whenever and wherever you can.

I challenge the voice in your head, starting today, to erase the phrase “I don’t have time” from its vocabulary. Instead, your voice must say, “It’s not a priority.” If you’re truly committed to building your life into something you’re proud of, that has to take priority over Facebook, video games, watching cat videos on YouTube, TV, and so on.

Once we stop allowing ourselves to say, “I don’t have time” and truly look at where our time is being spent, we’ll find some pockets of time here and there to focus on growth and to complete the quests and missions we need to level up.

2. I can’t afford it.”
The tiny voices in our heads that argue for complacency are no strangers to the “I can’t afford it” argument. This argument aims to justify NOT spending money on things that are important. Whether it’s going on a trip or taking lessons, when that tiny voice in your head tells you that you “can’t afford” it, you are left with three options:

Complain loudly to anybody who will listen
Stop spending money on the unimportant
Find a way to make more money on the side
I’ve found the first option doesn’t really help anybody, at all, ever. Let’s look into options two and three, then. Just as we can look at how our time is spent and say, “It’s not what we say that’s important, but what we do that’s important,” a look at our spending history quickly reveals what we’ve deemed important in our lives. Do you:

Spend $150 a month on cable TV?
Go out to a $10 lunch each day and grab takeout food on the way home?
Buy new clothes/shoes monthly?
Own a car that’s brand-new or leased?
Own a home that’s bigger than you need?
In order for us to quiet the “I don’t have enough money” critic in our brains, we need to do whatever we can to stop spending money on the unimportant so we can reallocate those financial resources to things that provide us with sustainable happiness.

The Game of Life doesn’t need to be expensive! You often simply need to redefine your vision of how a certain adventure might play out — doing it on the cheap is more adventurous anyway!

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3. I’m too old.”
Whoever said, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is a liar, liar, pants on fire. Suzanne Collins wrote The Hunger Games at age 46. Tamae Watanabe summited Mount Everest at the age of 73, 10 years after setting the previous record at 63! Even my dad recently retired from his day job after 30 years at 63 to start his own company.

They may be clichés, but age is only a number, and you’re only as old as you feel. Whether you’re 20 or 50 or 80, there’s nothing other than that voice in your head to stop you from making positive changes in your life and focusing on building a game that makes you happy, regardless of your age. Ask yourself: Can I find a way to be happier and healthier today than I was yesterday? Can I find a way to make life more fulfilling today than it was a year ago?

It’s never too late to change, you’re never too old to learn, and you’re never too far down a path to redirect to a different one.

4. “I don’t have the same opportunities as other people.”
We all see the opportunities or success other people have had, and instead of asking “How can I do that?” or “Where can I get started?” the voice in our head says things like “Must be nice, but …” or “If only I had [insert random opportunity], then I could succeed.”

We all have to play life on different difficulty levels. Some people are born with superior genetics, or to rich parents, and never have to work a day in their lives: these people are playing the game on Easy mode (and they might struggle with finding true meaning!).

Others are born into broken homes, in Third World countries, with chronic ailments, or into neighborhoods with poor school systems, and they have to play the game on Legendary difficulty. The greater the origin story, the more dramatic the Hero’s Journey. We can either complain about the character we’ve rolled, or we can acknowledge it and then play that character to the best of our ability.

Many times, our circumstances are not our fault. But it is our responsibility to try to change them. Once we accept that, understanding that nobody else is going to dig us out of the hole, we become empowered. We give ourselves permission to forge a new path, to alter our destiny, to change our fate.

So, we need to quiet the voice in our head that keeps saying, “Well, I can’t do this because … ” We all have baggage. We all have obligations. We all have things about ourselves that we don’t like. Putting all of that aside, we all share one thing that is going to give us a leg up: a genuine desire for a better life — and now, the knowledge to make that a reality.

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5. “Life isn’t a fairy tale, movie, or game. Be realistic.”
When we look at our existence as something that must be endured, every challenge reinforces our negative attitude, and we end up miserable. When we look at life through the lens of a Hero’s Journey, every challenge becomes an opportunity to learn and grow and emerge transformed.

Life is supposed to be fun, and when you feel like you are having fun, more good things happen and there’s more of an opportunity to live a leveled-up life.

Whether you live for another few days or for another 10 decades, I want you to live a life you can be proud of. I want you to look in the mirror with pride each day, and I want you to look back at the end of your life and say, “Yup, I played this game right.”

No more excuses. Instead of coming up with reasons why we can’t do the stuff we talk about in this book, we instead must ask, “Okay, what do I need to do, and how do I need to do it in order to make these things a reality?” Now that we’ve quieted our inner voices and enemies, let’s get started on our adventure.

 

This is GREAT, right? I have a friend at home in Canada who reads Pretty Thing from time to time, she is my soul sistah from another mistah. I hope with all my heart that she has read this list up there – to be honest, she is the reason that I am posting this piece in the first place. She is a spectacular human being who I love with all my heart…but the voices that lurk in her head are some seriously mean bitches who need to shut up and go away. She doesn’t realize how awesome she really is – good thing I do. :-)

xxx

 

Happy Times Are Here Again

I’m just going to put this here:

The Top 20 Happiness-Boosting Strategies, Ranked By Science
by Dr. Joel Almeida

As a doctor and scientist, I prefer to make decisions (from what I have for breakfast to how I travel) based on research. A recent U.S. study evaluated some of the most common strategies people use to get happier and provided valuable insight into which methods are most effective.

Based on that study, 60 percent of our positive feelings and 70 percent of our negative feelings are predicted by things that are difficult or impossible to change immediately (or at all): things like our genes, our age, and certain personal traits. That might sound like a downer, but the bright side is that 40 percent of our positive feelings and 30 percent of our negative feelings can be influenced by the choices we make right now.

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But remember, whatever you feel is okay. Negative emotions are part of the human experience. Never feel bad about feeling bad: Cut yourself a little slack. That said, let’s move forward. Here are the top 20 happiness-boosting strategies, backed by science. These are ranked roughly by how well they predict happiness:

1. Decide to be happier.
This opens the door to other effective strategies.

2. Do something that gets you into a happy mood.
For me, it’s creating original music. I get completely caught up in the experience of flow. Find your own source of that feeling.

3. If you’re in an unfortunate predicament, change it or accept it.
Then go on with the rest of your life. Don’t get trapped by rumination about what’s wrong with your life.

4. Live more, think less.
Don’t try to force yourself to look at only the positive, or try to tune out negative aspects of life. Instead, accept reality as it is and go on with life: work, eat, sleep, take care of yourself, interact with others — just keep going.

5. Strive to accomplish things.
Just put one foot in front of the other, over and over. Celebrate small wins.

6. Attempt to reach your full potential.
Visualize what you could be like at your best.

7. Organize your life and goals.
Know which direction you’d like to travel in life and how you can start. You don’t need to see the whole journey or worry about crossing bridges until you’re in front of them. All you need is a general sense of direction, determined by what you most value, and to know the next step in that direction.

8. Act happy.
Sometimes faking it actually helps. Change your body language; smile more. Think of a little baby clapping its fat hands in glee (or other image that makes you smile). For a little while, be that baby.

9. Focus on maintaining relationships.
Keep reaching out to your nearest and dearest, meeting them halfway at least. If they tread on your toes, don’t be a doormat. Assert your expectations calmly but firmly. They’ll learn that you respect yourself and your relationship will benefit from mutual respect.

10. Pursue career goals.
Many people feel energized by this challenge. However, if your boss or work situation is toxic, you might need to look for other opportunities.

11. Interact with friends and delight in their company.
Laughing with friends is my idea of bliss.

12. Exercise.
Even a few minutes of maximum effort is useful if you do it several times a week. Find some vigorous physical activity that suits you and make it part of your routine.

13. Maintain your physical health.
Make time to prepare and relish real meals instead of settling for processed snacks and sugary stuff. Sit less, move more.

14. Accept support from friends.
Support and encourage them in return.

15. Savor the moment.
Happiness is not just a distant destination. It’s here and now. Gratitude for what you already have can be like sun, lighting up even the darkest places.

16. Pray or meditate.
Life is not all thinking and doing. Sometimes it’s good to be still and experience the joy of just being. Experience every breath as a gift.

17. Seek support from your beliefs.
When you can read meaning into a difficult situation, you can come through almost anything and still be happy.

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18. Party!
No explanation needed!

19. Work on your hobbies.
Find something enjoyable but challenging enough that will allow your talents and interests to be developed.

20. Become more active in your leisure time.
Limit your “passive leisure.” A healthy dose of relaxation is good. However, if you overdo watching TV, surfing the Internet, shopping, or lazing around, it’s more likely to predict unhappiness than happiness.

You don’t have to try all of these things at once. Pick the one or two strategies that best fit your life. Start today, and, before you know it, you’ll be experiencing more happiness. Take courage from science. What’s worked well for thousands of others is likely to work for you. Don’t wait for happiness to fall into your lap: Grow your own!

 

Happy Sunday, my friends! :-)

xxx

Smart Girls

I came across this on Lifehack the other day – and it made me laugh. What do you think? Is there something to this?

Love does not come easy for smart people. Here’s why.

1. We don’t consider a romantic relationship as a top priority.
To us, life is full of all kinds of possibilities and we often have great ideas to be put into practice. We tend to spend more time and efforts on our work but not just on a romantic relationship.

2. We are more brains than beauty.
While not always the case, we may tend to be more attractive on the inside than on the outside. Generally speaking, smart people have a “hidden beauty” and it takes a special person to appreciate and acknowledge it.

3. We consider our intelligence as its own reward.
Being smart gives us self-fulfillment that takes the place of a need to be fulfilled in a relationship for some people. We get our greatest fulfillment from our achievements.

4. We dig deep
This can be a difficult thing when it comes to dating. We tend to dig deep into a person’s soul to ascertain the level of interest and commitment.

5. We don’t dance around issues.
We confront problems in a relationship with the confidence that we are in the right — some people don’t like that! We are smart and we know what is right and what is wrong, and we do not mind letting you know what is wrong with the relationship.

6. It’s difficult to understand us at times.
Our mind is complicated and it’s hard to explain everything. But we do try hard to be understood.

7. We often miss subtle cues.
Our focus is on things of larger scope. Therefore, we might miss out on subtle hints of interest from other people on petty things. We don’t aim to offend, but we just can’t even notice.

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What do you think, friends? There are people who like these qualities, right? 😉

I will be waiting for your feedback! :-)

xxx

Forgiveness

Are you good at forgiving and forgetting? I am not – and I should really change that. First off, I never forget a damn thing, especially when someone has done me wrong…so you can trust that I will always carry the shards of any sins you’ve committed towards me somewhere in my heart (sorry about that). However, I usually manage to forgive people – goodness knows that I screw up all the damn time, so…I can forgive most things (even if I never forget them). However, lately I’ve been finding it harder and harder to forgive people – and I’m not sure why. It’s like my stubborn resolve has increased as I’ve aged, instead of softening as I’ve gotten older. I wonder why?

For example, I had a falling out with a friend just over a month ago – this is a very VERY rare event for me, as I pretty much never have upsets with people like this. However, I got really pissed with this person, what they did and said (that’s the rub, actually – it was what they said that has upset me so terribly), and I’ve not spoken to them since. There have been many text messages and emails unreturned…and I have actually dug my heels in on this one. I have zero interest in speaking to somebody that thinks so little of me that they would be so condescending and say such ugly things about me and my life – I don’t care if they do claim to have had extenuating circumstances…that’s just horseshit. I feel like this entire episode flipped a switch inside my head, and nothing around me has looked the same since. However, it doesn’t feel good having anger inside of me the way that it has been, and this is what needs to be addressed.

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I did some Googling on the idea of forgiveness and how to work through it all, and came across this article – the whole thing is good, you should give it a read….but here is the important takeaway from the whole thing:

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are pardoning or excusing the other person’s actions.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any more feelings about the situation.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you should forget the incident ever happened.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to continue to include the person in your life.
… and forgiveness isn’t something you do for the other person.
By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn’t necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the person who wronged you; it’s something you do for you.

Don’t you love that? Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the person who wronged you; it’s something you do for you. I love that. I think that’s where my biggest struggles have been lately with this whole forgiving thing – especially with the most recent situation. I have honestly felt like forgiving the person who pissed me off is letting them off the hook, almost like saying that their behavior was okay – and it sure as hell wasn’t. However, when I keep reading that sentence over and over again, it’s starting to make sense to me, and making me feel better in my heart – it’s not something I do for them, it’s something that I would be doing for me. I think I might be on to something here – I am not nearly kind enough to myself …maybe it’s time that being nice to me became a priority. Maybe forgiveness = freedom. :-)

Xxx