May 10, 2013 by Leanna

Don’t Ask Me No Questions

DISCLAIMER: This post’s title is taken from a Lynyrd Skynyrd song – yes, I know it is grammatically incorrect, and yes, friends…it bugs the hell out of me, too. However, I am committed to keeping up with my thing of always naming my posts after the titles of songs, so…let’s just hold hands, ignore the grammar, and go with it, okay?

Good morning, friends! Happy Friday! I hope that this finds you feeling well and that all is shiny sparkly in your world! I’ve had one hell of a week at work, so I am anxious to get today out of the way and move on to a GREAT weekend – yaaa! Any exciting plans on your agenda?

After watching the movie “Silver Linings Playbook” yet again (I friggin’ LOVE that movie), I was talking about Bradley Cooper’s appearance on Bravo’s ‘Inside the Actor’s Studio’ from a few months ago – it was such a cool episode, since he was a graduate of that program at Pace University’s New York City campus. Some of his former teachers and mentors were there, and they showed a clip of him being a student in the audience and asking questions…it was a fantastic full-circle moment, and goodness knows I LOVE those! The person I was talking to was unfamiliar with the James Lipton show, so I was explaining the premise of the program – and, as you’ll know if you’ve ever watched ‘Inside the Actor’s Studio’, the questions that Lipton asks of every guests are nearly always the highlight! The questions that he asks are based upon questions that French television host Bernard Pivot asked on his show ‘Apostrophes’, which were derived from the Proust Questionnaire – here they are:

What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
What turns you off?
What is your favorite curse word?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I want this – it’s as simple as that, folks.

I loooove these questions, and I absolutely delight in asking them of people! Let’s have us a little lookie-peek at these, shall we? The first one asks for your favorite word – I find this a toughie, because goodness knows I love words and use enough of them in a day. I think that mine is IMAGINE. Or LOVE…it’s almost a tie. The second question is about your least favorite word, and that one is easy as hell for this girl – NO. I hate to ever hear no. Next, we are on to what turns you on – for me, it is intelligence, a sense of humor, creativity, an open mind and heart, and nice eyes. A cute bum doesn’t hurt. I also am excited by stimulating conversations, and people who are articulate and have interests – it doesn’t matter if they are the same as mine or not (they usually aren’t, but we all know that I’m kind of an eccentric weirdo, and I pride myself on that), but people who are passionate about their hobbies and beliefs are smokin’ hot in my book. I always figure that it doesn’t matter what it is that you do, just do it well, with pride and a heart full of passion. To quote the best TV show of all time ‘Friday Night Lights’ – CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS, CAN’T LOSE. (NOTE: There is NO better character on TV ever than the divine Connie Briton’s portrayal of Tami Taylor – she was perfection; and, truth be told, I want her life and I want to learn to live like her…ascribing to the philosophy of WWTTD? – What would Tami Taylor Do?…and I’m not even kidding! Google that question and prepare to be dazzled by the online devotion to Tami Taylor and wondering what she would do in any given situation – it’s awesome)

Words to live by

The next question asks what turns you off – this is pretty easy, too: I don’t enjoy people who are arrogant, who think they know everything and have all the answers, and don’t engage in conversation with you, but prefer to lecture. I can’t stand that. There are ways to speak conversationally to people, to engage in the back-and-forth that builds relationships and forges bonds – and talking down to others in a lecturing tone is not the way to go. Plus, it’s just icky and annoying. I am also turned off by people who have no hobbies or interests, because their lack of anything going on makes conversation with them highly difficult. I find people who can’t laugh at themselves troubling, laziness drives me bloody bonkers, and those who take themselves too seriously haven’t a hope in hell with me – life is just too short. Question #5 is one of my very favorites – it’s the curse word question! Yaaa! I have a rather colorful and foul mouth a lot of the time – it’s not because I lack the intelligence or vocabulary to produce proper words, but, truth be told, there’s just something magical about a well-placed dirty word. My favorites are: mothafucka (said the way that Hank Moody says it on ‘Californication’), shit (or the brown word, as we call it at my house), and I have been known to particularly enjoy cocksucker (sorry if I’ve offended you). I know that I have a potty mouth and I am working on it (the Wee One has a swear jar, and each bad word costs me 25cents towards her Paris Trip fund…unless I let loose with two in one sentence, which ups the cost to $5 – with the amount of stress I’ve had lately, I think the kid may be able to afford her trip to Paris by mid-June!), but there are just some times when turning the air blue with your foul mouth is a glorious thing.

The sound or noise that I love is easy – my Wee One’s voice. She has the sweetest little voice I’ve ever heard in my life, and hearing her sounds like heaven to me. When she giggles, I believe that miracles can happen…it’s the most gorgeous sound I’ve ever heard! If I had to pick another sound or noise I dig, it would be the sound of the harp – ’cause that is something real cool. A sound or noise I hate is fingernails on a blackboard (ickity ick ick ick!), or the sound of someone barfing – I’m a wee bit of a sympathy barfer, so if I hear someone really going for it, the chances are that I will end up sick, too. I’m odd. I know. I love thinking about the next question – what profession other than your own would you like to attempt…I am always working on my list of answers for this one – here’s what I’ve come up with: writer, lawyer, chef, art historian, circus clown, travel journalist, or movie critic. The professions that I have no interest in attempting include anything related to the undertaking/mortuary sciences, proctologist, garbage person, or accountant. I can’t even imagine how awful I would be at these jobs – yikes!

Heaven? I think it very well could be

The final question is such an interesting one – if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? My answer is pretty simple – wasn’t that a hell of a ride???! What took you so long, friend? Come on in!!! I hope that I will someday get let in to Heaven…whatever that means. Hopefully my list of sins (which is considerable, I’m well aware) isn’t too egregious, and I will still be permitted inside – hopefully. I don’t know what Heaven looks like, but I highly doubt it resembles the cloud-filled diaper-land of the Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercials…instead, I imagine it to have beautiful beaches, and lush rainforests, with all of the food and treats and candy you can eat, and Molson Canadian beer and my favorite French wines will flow from fountains. There will be tons of chocolate, gummy bears galore, and the sun will always shine. I think Heaven will be full of all the people I’ve most wanted to meet, and that all of the demons that tormented us in our mortal lives will be gone, leaving us with happy hearts and souls. I imagine that my version of Heaven will include swimming pools, and an ever-present hockey game…and Stompin’ Tom will be playing over the PA system. I also think that my Heaven will have my Dad in it, sitting there patiently waiting for me to arrive – so that we can enjoy a beer together and talk about our days. The rest of my family will be there, too – and Gram, Grandpa and I will sit around the table, chat, and I will strike a ridiculous yoga pose to make Grandpa laugh, just like I used to. It will be magnificent!

How would you answer this questionnaire? Send me your responses – I can’t wait to read them!

xxx

May 4, 2013 by Leanna

Madness

What makes you mad? Do you have a quick and fiery temper, or are you pretty laid back about most things? Does it take a lot to get you riled? I don’t get mad terribly often, and when I do, it generally blows over rather quickly. Generally.

I’ve been pretty damn irritated about some things lately, and I’ve let them affect my life in general. I’ve been disappointed with some people and the careless, thoughtless ways that they do things. Crappy things, like being negligent and not taking care of stuff that is their responsibility. That shit irritates me. I also get damn annoyed when people aren’t straight with me, preferring instead to take the weasel-y way out of things by blowing smoke up my arse…I may pretend to believe the lies and act all sympathetic, but I’m only trying to let the liars save face, for I see right through the curtain of bullshit. I truly despise it when people think I’m stupid and underestimate me.

I get annoyed and upset when people are mean, when they go out of their way to be cruel. Some people seem to take tremendous delight in hurting those around them, even when they have done nothing wrong but be kind and considerate and sweet. There is no skill in kicking the innocent, and I wonder how those people sleep at night knowing what shitbags they’ve been.

I – like pretty much everyone – get cross when things don’t go my way. And, since this is me we’re talking about, that happens pretty much all the damn time. I feel frustration that despite so many of my very best attempts, things still go wrong…and I can’t figure out why. I seem to be the common thread, therefore it must be something that I am doing wrong or not doing at all. I’ve tried every trick that I can for self-examination to determine exactly where it is that I am going wrong, but…so far, I can’t put my finger on it. I guess I will keep trying.

While Googling ways to get past anger, I have found some great things – some ludicrous and so hippie-dippie and stupid, and others that seem like a pretty decent plan of action. Here’s one of my favorites – a list of 15 Simple Ways to Overcome Anger:

1. Look Up!!!

2. “What Do You Want?”

3. Eliminate: Don’t, Not, No

4. Finding the Light

5. Surrender

6. Circle of Influence

7. Gratitude Exercise

8. Meditation

9. Breathing Relaxation Techniques

10. Laughter!

11. Forgiveness

12. Snap a Rubber Band

13. Identify and Eliminate Your Triggers

14. Identify What Anger Brings

15. Seek Closure. Solve the Problem

Okay – there are a number of things on this list that have absolutely no practical relevance for me…logically, I do understand the benefits of relaxation breathing techniques and I’m sure that they are great, but…when I try to do that, I do them wrong and nearly pass out. (I did make myself faint in yoga once…those breathing things in some classes are friggin’ hard core) However, there are some great things here – when things suck, try to find the bright spots and focus on those…I’ve been really trying to do that. Case in point: on Friday afternoon, a woman at work who frequently vexes my spirit with her general stupidity and uselessness was in my hallway – I heard her, and I knew she was coming for me. I thought quickly, and realized that listening to her spew her negative shit on a Friday afternoon was going to serve no purpose other than to piss me off and put a damper on my weekend, so I was proactive, and I headed her off at the pass: basically, I disappeared so that she couldn’t find me and darken my pretty day with her bad attitude. Yes, I did hide under my desk for a few minutes until she left my department, but…no judgment, please. I found the light – the bright spot and the lesson there was getting the hell out of her way so that I didn’t have to be part of her pity party. Yaaa me!

Figuring out exactly what you want out of situations is really profound, don’t you think? I know that when I really contemplate this one, I find that what I really want is often completely the opposite of what I think I want. Everybody wants the basics of life: to be loved, to be treasured, to have their loved ones pay attention to them, to be adored, etc…who doesn’t want that? But, when exploring deep within your soul to find out your basest desires, you may be surprised what it is that you find: you may want someone who will challenge you to become a better person, or you may want to feel the rawest emotions that life has to offer in order to truly appreciate the good and beautiful things around you. When I think of all of the things that I really want in life, my list is pretty simple and straightforward: I want to reach new heights in my career that will allow me to not only provide a comfortable life for my Wee One and I, but I want to make the lives of those around me – and the state of education – better simply because I am here and doing what I do; I want a happy home life, one that is full of love and joy and good times, and not the constant strife of hardship; I want to find more time to pursue the things that I love – reading, writing, kayaking, music, movies, etc…; and, finally, I want to travel more, because there is so much to be seen in the big ol’ beautiful world around me…and I want to suck up every experience that I can. Think hard and tell me, friends…what is it that you really want? (and if one of you jackasses posts a comment that says that what you really, really want is a ‘zigazig-ah’ – we’re going to have us a problem, friends )

I wish I was a person that could meditate and find peace, but…sadly, for this girl, that ain’t happening. I park my arse in a quiet place, try to center myself, and the following internal dialogue transpires: holy shit this mat is uncomfortable on my arse! you’d think that with all the padding on said arse that it wouldn’t hurt to sit like that! I think I oughta move! Oh, look – there’s the hair clip that the cats knocked off the dresser last week, yaa! stupid cats! I hate putting laundry away…do they have people that you could hire to do that?! I need to hang a mini-chandelier in the Wee One’s room! And I want to put a new shower head up in my shower – is there a how-to video on YouTube for that? Ahh….YouTube…surely it must be time for some sneezing kitten videos! Squirrel! How do you find someone to hire to come and fix the grout situation in a shower? Is that something that I can Google? Of course it is…Google has everything! I wish my last name was Google, that’d be fun. I wonder what I would change my name to if I could pick anything – hey, remember that episode of ‘Friends’ when Phoebe wants to change her name to Princess Consuela Bananahammock? That was awesome! I loved that show! And this exercise in futility will continue until I decide to give up the whole meditation idea. I seriously don’t know what is wrong with my mind sometimes.

I know people who swear by the idea of using affirmations – and I’ve been wanting to give this a shot. I’m not one of those gals who would ever be able to look in the mirror, smile at myself and loudly declare that I was good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me…I would probably try once, and then laugh so hard that I would end up snorting. However, I’ve been attempting this in a sneaky way: I’ve found a few quotes and positive statements that fill my heart with pink sparkly joy when I read them – so I’ve been putting them everywhere: all throughout my beloved notebooks that are in my purse (that make it weigh a ton and everyone laughs at me for always carrying notebooks with me), on the wall in my office, on my fridge…everywhere that I will possibly see them in a day. I don’t know if they are going to completely change my mindset and make my life 110% better, but…they can’t hurt, right? Take a look at this:

This is clipped out of a People magazine article about actress Valerie Harper, who is suffering from terminal cancer – I figure that this is a woman who clearly knows what she needs to know as she’s facing the end of her days…this is a person whose advice on living is worth listening to. I have this hanging on my fridge, and I see it throughout the day – the part that gets me the most is that the best day has always been this one. I need to learn how to make that my guiding philosophy, too. Sheryl Crow sings in her awesome song “Soak Up The Sun” that ‘It’s not having what you want / It’s wanting what you’ve got’ – I think that if I am ever able to master this concept, then I will truly find peace and happiness, and I bet that 99% of my irritation will dissipate. Any ideas on how to make this happen? Until we can come up with something, if you need me – I’ll be under my desk.

xxx

PS: Lest you think I am an angry person with rage issues – I am so not. I am generally really happy, and I treasure and value positivity and goodness so much. I just get down sometimes with all of the negativity around me…I care too much about others. I think I will start by working on that.

May 2, 2013 by Leanna

Shiny Happy People Part 3

Welcome to the third in my series of “25 Things That Made Me So Happy I Want To Pee My Pants” – this week has been a really tough one for me, with some long, hard days at work and some stressful disappointments away from work, so I need the joy that comes with making one of these lists BIG TIME. Without further ado, let’s do this:

Dunkin’ Donuts Coffee (they just opened a new store right near my work and I honestly don’t know if it would be possible for me to be any happier than I am. My dear friend picked up coffee and a Boston Cream donut for me yesterday, and, in that moment, I think my heart actually swelled and I loved her even more )

Acronyms like FUPA, because they are hilarious and foul

Yorkshire Terriers and my Wee One – look at this picture and tell me that life isn’t pretty damn great sometimes

Willie Nelson – he turned 80 on Tuesday, and I celebrated with beer in his honor. He’s just as cool as ever – may we all be as hip when we’re 80!

“Silver Linings Playbook” – released on DVD/Blu-Ray on Tuesday, sitting on my table waiting to be watched as I type this. I looooooove this movie so much and can’t wait to watch it!

The Rain – it’s been raining in San Antonio this week, and things are looking green and gorgeous!

Time Capsules – I’ve never been part of one of these, but my darling friend in Canada has, and I think it sounds like awesome good fun! Now.. what shall I put in mine????! Ideas and suggestions are gratefully accepted!

Mindy Kaling – everything she is and everything she does fills me with joy I love her!

The fact that there is one month left of school! Bring on summer!

Panera’s Fat-Free Superfruit Power with Ginseng Smoothie (Superfruit power puree blended with organic plain Greek non-fat yogurt and boosted with ginseng) - this thing is AWESOME!!! So delicious, and it tastes like a happy spring party in your mouth! What an awesome way to commence your day!

The VH1 show ‘Off Pitch’ – this show has me totally dazzled…it’s both awful and absolutely cheese-tastic and fabulous, all at the same time! I loooove it!!!

Spring Flowers – I bought these for myself last weekend and they’ve made me happy all week. It’s the little things, friends.

Red VW Beetle Convertibles – I want one. Badly. Anybody fancy giving/loaning me $10,000?

People with good intentions who say what they mean and mean what they say – and they don’t blow smoke up your arse, either. Love those people.

Canadian Model Justine LeGault -and the fact that her simply STUNNING self is on the cover of Elle Québec…and she’s a size 14/16. Gorgeous! Read about her here. Yaa!!!

The Comedy of Amy Schumer – her new sketch show ‘Inside Amy Schumer’ premiered on Comedy Central on Tuesday, and I quite liked it. Check it out!

The pride that comes from standing up for yourself and doing what’s right, regardless of how hard it is. Go on with yo’bad self, friends!

This video on YouTube – this guy’s wife got drunk one evening and decided to tell him a joke. He recorded it and then animated it…and it’s a riot! (of course, it’s a ridiculously corny joke – exactly my favorite kind!)

A pouffy petticoat like this one (courtesy of my spirit animal Betsey Johnson) to wear under my dresses, and around my house (because what better idea is there than swanning around mi casa in this fluffy thing??!):

Jimmy Choo Perfume – it smells like I imagine sex with an angel to smell…and that sounds like a hell of a good time, don’t you think?

Jimmy Choo Eau de Parfum, 3.3 oz

My office at work is full of paintings done by the AMAZING Texas artist Linda Calvert Jacobson (who also happens to be my friend and one of the loveliest people you’ll ever meet!) – it is impossible to be anything less than EXTREMELY HAPPY when you are working in an environment full of these:

My Wee One made this picture for me…and, during a week like this one when I’ve decided that nobody loves me and everybody hates me and I will die alone in a shanty-town shack with a pot-bellied pig as my only friend – there is nothing better than this.

The sight of little children holding hands

The smell of movie theatre popcorn. And bacon. Mmm….

This picture of cuddling panda cubs

Panda cubs cuddling with each other

Making this list has helped – I would like to share with you a list of things that are currently pissing me off (it would be rather long and spirited, as people have been really shitting on me this week), but…that kind of defeats the whole purpose of accentuating the positive. So…in that spirit – I will end on this good note: happy Friday, my beautiful friends…even if you don’t make a list of all of the things that make you deliriously happy (and in need of adult diapers), that you at least think of those things and recognize the importance of them in your life. Being happy = AWESOME!!!

xxx

April 30, 2013 by Leanna

Just A Fool

I have always prided myself on generally being a fairly intelligent person. I have a keen interest in education and the world around me, and value the concept of lifelong learning more than I can possibly tell you. However, for a reasonably bright girl, I am one seriously dumb-assed fool from time to time – it’s friggin’ ridiculous. It seems that I am so eager to please people, to make them happy, to receive their attention and affection that I will believe pretty much any (and every) piece of bullshit that they can possibly tell me – and that is ridiculous. I simply don’t know what’s wrong with me.

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

I have always been quite gullible, which has made me excellent fodder for my friends over the years (especially one in particular who is a master bullshit artist – and my Step-Dad, too…he managed to make me believe that he was fluent in Swahili and that he used to own a cat that underwent a sex change. Yes, really. ) – and sadly, even at my somewhat advanced age, I’m still pretty easily taken in. I will suspend reality just to believe the far-fetched stupid excuse that you’re telling me, even though I rationally understand that monkeys are more likely to fly out my arse than have that tall tale you’re telling me be true. I used to think that I did this because I was just stupid about people and relationships, but deep down I know that isn’t the case…I may be many things, but generally, stupid ain’t one of them. The thing with me is that I am a total Pollyanna (I put the Leanna in Pollyanna – say it out loud, it’ll make sense…I’ll wait. ) – I absolutely want to believe the best in everyone, as I want them to think the best of me. I am such a big believer of giving people the benefit of the doubt, and the reason for that is that I truly believe that we are all good inside. Even though all sorts of awful tragedies happen in the world every day, with people carrying out horrific acts of violence in the name of whatever cause they believe in…I still hold on to the idea that they weren’t always bad. I choose to believe that people do awful things because they can’t find another way forward, or, more accurately, they have lost their way…but they weren’t always bad. Once upon a time they were good people, as most of us are. I choose to believe that. I need to believe that. :)

Let’s look at another example: think about a time that you weren’t so kind to somebody else…walk back in your mind until you find one. Got it? Okay – now, tell me: why did you behave poorly? Was it because you wanted to hurt them? Were you just sick and tired of them and their bullshit? Or was it all about you wanting something else? We all have our reasons, and just because we may behave in a shitty manner from time to time does not make us shitty people. For the most part, we all do the best that we can every day – sometimes that is more than good enough, and other times we fall tragically short. The thing that matters, though, is that we always try our best – and hopefully those around us will recognize that and all will be okay for us. Hopefully.

I read this article entitled “On Discovering the Best in People” - give it a look:

“When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.” -William Arthur Ward

I read somewhere once that we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions and other people by their actions. In other words, we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, whereas we’re more apt to assume other people mean to be cruel, inconsiderate, or hurtful when they make poor choices.

I suspect this is a survival strategy: We need to believe that we are good people in order to live with ourselves, and we want to quickly assess which other people aren’t to make sure that they won’t hurt us. It’s a mental shortcut, if you will–the sooner you discover the worst in people, the sooner you can plan how to protect yourself.

But what it if we decided that just like us, most other people mean well, and then instead of fearing the worst, focused on finding the best? What if we put all our energy into recognizing the light in other people, and in doing so, brightened the light within us?

I know that whenever I believe in someone else, it awakens a sense of possibility inside me. It makes me feel more connected to other people, more empowered to collaborate with them, and more passionate about what we can all accomplish if we work with each other, not against each other.

Today if you feel tempted to focus on another person’s flaws, ask yourself: What good qualities am I overlooking, and what possibilities could I create if I focused more on those?

Don’t you love this? I do. Instead of focusing on the things that those around us do wrong, let’s think about all the things they do right, and how we can cultivate that ‘rightness’ and make more of it happen! There’s way too damn much negativity in this world anyway, friends…let’s not contribute more, okay? And as for me and what a fool I can be…I know that people laugh at me and my gullibility, and some of the crueller ones probably delight in pulling the wool over my eyes and making me believe that they mean well when in fact they are just shitheads that are using me, but… I really don’t care. Their arseholish behavior says far more about them and what pieces o’shit (POS) they are than it does about me, don’t you think? All it means is that I am a person who trusts, who cares, who loves big, who tries hard, and who always sees the best in people. And you know what? I am perfectly okay with a description like that.

xxx

PS: A final thought for today – look at this picture of the best feelings in the world…awesome, eh?

April 28, 2013 by Leanna

Amazed

So far, so good, friends…I’m almost 20 days in to my Picture a Day project, and I haven’t slipped up yet, not even once! Amazing!! Sometimes my pictures have been good and interesting, while other times they’ve been boring as hell (like the day I took a picture of the ceiling fan because I was stuck flat on my back fighting a wicked case of vertigo from my stupid ear infections – sorry about that)…but the thing is that I am doing it! I’m remembering to not only take a picture a day, but I’m posting it for you to see! Yaaa me!!! If you remember from the beginning of this project, I have a list of 50 Things To Do Before I’m 50, and one of the items on my list was to take a picture a day for a year. I started the project officially on April 10th, 2013 (the day of my 39th birthday), and I am going to share at least one picture a day with you for the entire year! It’s funny how this project has framed my mindset and how I approach my days – I am constantly looking for something interesting to photograph (sometimes I succeed, other times not so much), and I’m having a ton of fun with it! Click here to check out the main page, use the calendar feature to look at all of the past posts, and be sure to keep checking back and taking a look at what I’ve been looking it! Fun stuff, friends!!!!!

Happy Sunday!

xxx

April 21, 2013 by Leanna

In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning

It’s bright and early in the morning, and I’m awake. There’s something so special about being up at this time of day – the sounds of the silence especially. When there is nothing else to look at, to listen to or be distracted by, you can easily slip into the kind of thinking that we all need to do from time to time. You can take a moment or two to yourself, and quietly figure out the answers to the questions that are on your mind. If you have decisions to make, you can try them on for size in peace and privacy, since most folks aren’t up at this time anyway, and nobody will judge you. You can put aside the wishes and agendas of the rest of the world, and just think for yourself. It’s a glorious thing to be awake in the wee small hours of the morning…if you haven’t tried it lately, you ought to.

I had a conversation with someone recently that I would like to tell you about. Someone I know was offered an incredible job opportunity – exciting work, undoubtedly rewarding position, tons of dough, seemed a pretty good deal. However, the position was turned down. You know why? Because it would require a relocation away from family, friends, and loved ones, and it would mean all sorts of sacrifices on having much of a personal life. Also, the job would come with a ton of stress and pressure – and this smart, sweet soul instead chose happiness. They decided to turn the job down and instead chose to keep doing what they’re doing – because it makes them happy. Isn’t that fantastic???! Not many of us would have the courage to turn down a great job opportunity and a significant payday because we value happiness and quality of life. I would like to think that I would – but I also struggle with the importance of money and what a lot of money could mean for the Wee One and I and our life together. I was really impressed by this…aren’t you? Not enough of us are brave enough to choose happiness – I wish I was, but I’m not so sure I am.

What does happiness look like to you? Is it having all of the material possessions you could possibly want, or are you more of a streamlined person who needs only the basics to feel fulfilled? Does your version of happy-town look like something from ‘Leave It To Beaver’, or are you more non-traditional? I used to think that happiness involved having lots of ‘stuff’ – it doesn’t…you actually need very little to be happy, it seems. I also thought that having the picture perfect family would lead to happiness – but I realized over time that there is no such thing as the picture perfect family…it doesn’t exist. For me these days, happiness comes in the imperfections, the things that aren’t stereotypically great but work magnificently for me – my beautiful Wee One and the happy times that we share, the great things that I get to do every day at my job, my wonderful friends that enrich my life in ways that I can’t possibly describe, and the buckets full of love and affection that I receive from those around me. That’s pretty much all that I require to feel happy. Sure, having some cool stuff around to make life easier would be happy (a new car, a trip to Bali to recharge my mind and soul, a new car, a maid and a handyman to deal with all of the things at my house that need doing – hey, maybe the handyman could help me carry the love seat down the stairs that I’m going to attempt to do this week??!? Hmm… ), but I don’t need those things. What I do need are my Wee One, people around that I care about that I can have fun with, and love. Lots and lots of love.

See the kinds of things you think about in the wee small hours of the morning? All roads lead back to love, friends…I guess I’m just a romantic at heart.

xxx

April 7, 2013 by Leanna

Family Portrait

Happy Sunday, friends! How has your weekend been? Mine has been great, and busy! I’ve had family from Canada here this week, so we’ve been out and about doing stuff…and it’s been awesome! On Friday, we went down to the Riverwalk, saw some sights and did some walking, and had dinner at the Hard Rock Café. I had the turkey burger with side salad – SO yummy! ♥ From there, we moseyed upstairs to Howl at the Moon (two weekends in a row! I’m fixin’ to be a regular!) – it was fabulous as usual! The music was SO great, everyone there is every shade of awesome…it’s fantastic! I had to laugh – when we arrived at the door, the promotions manager (who is super nice and fun – and he hooks me up each time I go there) was at the door. He and I greeted each other as we do – hugs and lots of yaa-ing. My family wryly noted that I must go there A LOT as not even Norm and Cliff were so warmly greeted at Cheers, and they were there every day! Heehee! We had a great time, and got a hell of a laugh out of the First Friday pub runners downtown. Every month, on the first Friday, there is a fabulous pub run event - it begins at Beethoven’s (I was there in February, remember?), and continues throughout the night downtown. This month’s theme was Fiesta, so there were drunken runners dressed in sombreros making their way singing through the streets – it looks like an absolute hoot!

The rest of this weekend has been spent with my family, enjoying the influx of Canucks, and taking it easy. My Wee One has been over the moon with the company lately, and really enjoying all of the love and attention that’s been raining down on her. Going back to real life this week is going to be HARD!

As the big birthday day approaches (three sleeps to go, friends!), I’m still ready to begin my Picture A Day For A Year project (it was an item from my 50 Things To Do Before I’m 50 list – click here to read the whole list if you’re interested! ) – I will be posting the pictures EVERY DAY over here, so please be sure to check in often, okay?

Before I go…here’s a funny story for you. A couple of months ago, I was sitting in the ophthalmologist’s office watching infomercials (following metal in my eye which is STILL giving me trouble, btw) – they were showing the advertisement for Cindy Crawford’s Meaningful Beauty products, meant to combat the signs of aging. As I watched this, feeling like shit (because Cindy Crawford is so bloody stunning that a mere mortal can’t help but feel like shit in comparison), I decided that I had better give these products a shot. I’m not usually one for ordering from the infomercials (although, there aren’t even words to tell you how badly I want a Flowbee, because that is hilarious, right??!?) – but damn Cindy and her flawless face, she caught me in a moment of weakness. Anyway – I’ve been using it for just over a month now (go ahead, laugh, it’s fine)…and I’m not sure if there’s been any changes, but let’s take a look shall we? Here’s me last June:

And this is my mug from Friday night:

Can you see a difference? I’m not sure if I can – but I do have to say that the skin on my face is as soft as a wee baby’s arse, and that has to count for something, right? I know I’m not going to wake up looking like Ms. Crawford tomorrow (or, if I did, it would probably be Joan Crawford instead of Cindy)…but anything that makes my skin feel happy is probably worth it. How about we go with that? Feel free to laugh at my feeble attempts at fending off my impending old age…it’s all good.

Happy Sunday, friends! Je vous aime!

xxx

April 3, 2013 by Leanna

Don’t Stop Believing

I read this story on Jezebel yesterday (which happened to be World Autism Day), and it warmed my heart in the absolute hugest way. Here’s the story: A 36-year old man from Long Island applied to take part in the New York Post‘s ‘Meet Market’ dating column – Jozen Cummings, who is in charge of ‘Meet Market’ was really touched by Dan and his story, and wrote about it on his personal site ‘Until I Get Married’. This is what he wrote:

Meet Dan!

Everyone Deserves A Date, Including a Guy Named Dan

Last week, I received an email at work about my Meet Market column from a man named Dan. Here is what he sent me:

I am a reader of The New York Post and enjoy your Meet Market page. I noticed it says I can email you if I would be interested in winning a date. I would be interested in participating in this and would enjoy the opportunity of meeting a woman with your help. Kindly let me know how to proceed. Thank you.

I get this type of email from readers about once or twice a week, usually on Mondays, the day after the column has appeared in the paper. They always make me happier because they make my job easier; one more person for the column, one less person I have to coerce into participating.

I asked Dan if he was over 21 and lived in either NYC or the immediate area outside of NYC, as I do all people who reach out with interest. He replied he was 36-years-old and lived in Long Island. So I told him to fill out the questionnaire and to come in as soon as he could for the picture he has to take for the column. He said he would get started on the questionnaire and could come in the next day for the photo.

Dan arrived at the time he said he would, and I greeted him downstairs to take him up to our studio.

Most of the people who sign up for Meet Market reach out through email, so I meet them for the first time in person at that downstairs greeting. I never know what they look like or how they are going to be. Usually they are excited to take their photo, shy or busy and want to get it over with.

Dan was none of these things. I could tell he was different than anyone else I met.

He was nerd-ish, badly dressed, with thick, black-rimmed eye glasses. He looked like a shorter version of Adam Levine if Adam Levine had a Forrest Gump-like haircut. None of this seemed out of the ordinary. What did seem peculiar was his slow, very slow, walk. I never waited so long for someone to get through the security gate. I felt rude for walking at a normal pace.

After the photo was done, I explained how Meet Market worked. He seemed to understand, so I asked him if he had any questions for me.

“Well, actually, I need to tell you something,” he said.

“Okay,” I said. “What’s that?”

“I have OCD and Asperger’s Syndrome.”

I didn’t flinch at what he said. If anything, I appreciated his candor, and I just made a mental note of his condition, saying to myself he will be a little harder to send out on a date. I told him I understood and I thanked him for the heads up while walking him back downstairs.

Down in the lobby, Dan shook my hand but then said he had more to tell me:

“I don’t know how you usually set people up, and I’m going to fill out your questionnaire you gave me, but one thing I want to explain is I need a woman who doesn’t mind being in control, doesn’t mind taking charge. My condition makes it really hard for me to make even the easiest decisions. And I know some women are dominant, but they still want a man who takes charge. I’m not that kind of guy. It takes me forever to make a decision.

“I wanted to sign up for this because it’s pretty hard for me to meet women the normal way,” he continued. “I don’t like clubs or places with loud music and approaching a girl doesn’t work too well for me either. I will try to say this in the questionnaire, but I want you to tell whoever you set me up with about my condition. Oh, and I haven’t been in a relationship since I was 19.”

Look, I can’t make my job too personal. I treat everyone professionally and as sensitive as I am to all the people who participate, my heart can’t get in the way of my deadlines. Do I want the people I send out on blind dates to report back that they found the love of their life? Of course, but I learned very quickly that’s not my job. I am not a match maker, nor am I trying to be. I just want to help people go out on memorable dates and share a good story about it in the paper.

Dan is different.

After he left, it was hard for me to shake the look on his face when he was telling me about all the problems he’s had with dating and meeting women. He told me everything without a trace of self-pity, in a very-matter-of-fact tone, and the more I thought about his story the more I wanted to help him. Here was a guy who knew he had real mental challenges, but no longer wanted to be imprisoned by them.

I have talked to Dan several times since our first encounter and also received his questionnaire. I am pleased to report that with the exception of his conditions, he is a very like-able guy who any woman would be lucky to have. He holds a Master’s in Education and has a certification to teach Social Studies. Currently, he is part of an agency that sends tutors to students who need individual attention in particular subjects.

But, more importantly than his resume, in all of our conversations Dan wants one thing: Love and to his credit, he has put a lot of thought into the type of woman he wants.

“I know I’m 36-years-old, but I might need someone who is around 23,” he told me. “My therapist says since I have such inexperience with love and relationships, a woman that age might be better suited for me.”

About wanting a woman who doesn’t mind being in control, Dan is adamant she be okay with this. “More than someone being okay with my condition,” Dan said. “I think my desire for a dominant woman has been the hardest thing for me to find.”

And on his mental challenges, Dan said, “I just want someone who isn’t going to run if they see me reacting to my OCD or the Asperger’s. I want someone who believes I can get better.”

On his questionnaire, Dan wrote, “I’m four-years away from being a real-life 40-year-old virgin.” But that is only a side-effect of what Dan really wants. He told me, “I see all these people get to experience love, and it’s like this chocolate bar, but I can’t have it. That’s why I need someone to help me meet someone.”

Dan’s story has affected me to the point where I’m bringing it over here and sharing it with you all. I need help finding Dan a date, and I know it won’t be easy finding compatible participants so if you’re reading this, I am hoping you can help me out.

I am looking for women, between the ages of 21-40 who live in NYC, and are interested in participating in Meet Market to possibly go out with Dan. For those who don’t understand how Meet Market works, each week, I give one guy or girl the opportunity to pick a person among three different people of the opposite sex. Dan has faced enough rejection in his lifetime, so I’m making him a guy who chooses instead of putting him in a group to get chosen.

If you don’t live in NYC but know someone who does and might be interested in giving this a chance, forward it to them. If you are in NYC and you yourself might be interested, please, email me at the address below:

Jcummings@nypost.com

Or you can click here to fill out this brief form.

All I said to Dan is I would help him get a date. I never promised to deliver him the love of his life; such a quest is far outside of my responsibilities and capabilities. But I can help him get off to a good start and give him what has eluded him for so very long. After all, it is my job, but Dan is a special case.

I want to help Dan go out on one date – just one free, nice, fun date. Certainly what happens after is entirely up to him, but the first date, I know I can do that with your help.

So please pass this along and help me find a date Dan, because everyone deserves a date, including people like him.

How do you feel about this story? I kind of love it. A LOT. I think that Dan is adorable, and I wish nothing but the world’s biggest happiness for him – finding love is hard, regardless of what challenges you may have (and every single one of us has challenges, whether you acknowledge that or not)…but for a gentleman like Dan who struggles perhaps more than some others, dating and building relationships is really hard. I think he sounds perfectly charming and sweet, and I hope that Mr. Cummings will keep us readers posted on how things are going for Dan – I’m interested in the outcome, aren’t you?

In the story, a questionnaire is mentioned (it’s the most important questions we all must ask someone we’re dating) – I found it posted on the site, and think it’s kind of GREAT! Here it is (along with some of my answers, just for giggles):

1. Name: Leanna

2. Occupation (please list occupation as your title, NOT industry-e.g. “editor,” not “publishing”): Educator

3. Contact info:
a. Address: N/A
b: Phone: N/A
c. Email: N/A
d: Twitter handle: @leannaerin

4. D.O.B. April 10, 1974

5. Current age: 38

6. Where you’re originally from and how long have you been a New Yorker: I’m from Manitoba, Canada – I’ve lived in the US since 2003

7. Where you live now: San Antonio, Texas

8. Ethnicity: Scottish/Icelandic Canadian (and Casper pale!) (Don’t I sound hot??! Wowza.)

9. What’s the last book you read? Drinking With Men, by Rosie Schaap

10: What’s the last album you purchased/listened to? The 20/20 Experience, by Justin Timberlake and In Time, by The Mavericks

11. To what song do you know all the words? Just about every song I hear – but the last two songs I sang in their entirety in the car on the way to work this morning were “Joey” by Concrete Blonde and “Give Me A Reason” by Pink

12. What movie can you watch over and over again? “Legally Blonde”, “Pulp Fiction”, “Love Actually”, and “Silver Linings Playbook”

13. What shows are on your DVR or are can’t miss television? ‘How I Met Your Mother’, ‘Scandal’, ‘The Following’, ‘Homeland’, ‘Mad Men’

14. What’s your favorite sport to watch/to play (include teams if you’d like)? Hockey, Diving, Baseball

15. What’s your favorite ice cream? Bordeaux Cherry, Pralines and Cream, Birthday Cake

16. What card or board game are you the champion at? Trivial Pursuit, hands down!

17. Can you dance? I love dancing, but I’m not particularly good at it – however, I have no shame and don’t hesitate to make a fool out of myself, so…yaa me! I want to learn, though!

18. On a Friday night with friends, I’d rather go to a: movie, concert, sporting event, dive bar, lounge, big dance club, karaoke bar, other (please explain): I’m down for movies, dive bars, and karaoke! Always!

19. Where’s your favorite place (bar, park, neighborhood, museum etc) in NYC and why? Oh goodness…I could never pick! I love the Lower East Side, of course…but I’m happy anywhere! SoHo, Meatpacking District, under the Brooklyn Bridge, squatting in a cardboard box…bring it all on!

20. If you had to choose only one way to get around the city between walking/running, taxi, car, bus, or subway, which would you prefer and why? Walking…always walking. That way you won’t miss anything along the way! Although, I am pretty crazy about the subway, too!!!

21. Why are you a catch? Impress me. Oh hell…I don’t think I’m a catch at all, so…I had best skip this question!

22. What turns you on? Brains and a sense of humor

23. What turns you off? Arrogance, stupidity, lack of oomph.

24. What is your biggest flaw (physical or otherwise)? My big arse, my never-ending chatter, my sarcasm, my broken up nose, and my brain that never stops thinking, regardless of how hard I try.

25. With who, what, or when are you your happiest? My Wee One – she’s my greatest achievement and symbolizes all that is right in this world

26. Window seat or aisle seat? Window!

27. Describe your ideal date night or day (Where would you go, what would you do?): Day – brunch or picnic, walk, coffee and talking; Night – movie and dinner, bar for drinks, walk, and lots o’ talking

28. Biggest pet peeve: Ignorance, Arrogance, and Other Negative Qualities That End In -ance

29. What’s something most people don’t know about you? I’m actually very shy in some situations, and I really don’t talk anywhere near as much as I used to!

30. Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? (If you have to think about it, you’re probably not, so feel free to skip): Hell yes! I’ve got my pantry stocked, I’m ready!

31. What’s your guilty pleasure (snack, TV show, music, clothing, etc.)? Shitty reality television, shopping, boy band music of the 90s (I hang my head in shame)

32. It’s silly, but I’m afraid of (explain)…driving my car into the oil change place – I think I’m going to drive it right into the hole in the floor!

33. What drink do you always order first at a bar? Either beer or Rum and Diet Coke with Lime

34. If I were to raid your apartment right now, what’s the most embarrassing thing AND the coolest thing I’d find? Coolest – I have some nifty art work on my walls; Embarrassing – the amount of stuffed toys in the house borders on hoarding

35. Best make-out music (or song): Anything Emeli Sandé or Marvin Gaye

36. What’s the nicest thing a non-family member has ever said to you? That I’m the smartest woman they’ve ever known. They were probably lying, though.

7. Celebrity people say you resemble: I had a student once who thought I looked like Kate Winslet – I believe she was visually impaired, but I loved her nonetheless.

38. Who’s your celebrity crush? Liam Neeson, Johnny Depp, Vince Vaughn, Patrick Wilson, and Gerard Butler

39. Describe yourself (be as specific as possible, these are real blind dates, so this is your chance to talk yourself up to the person choosing):

Physically Dark blonde/light brown hair, blue eyes, straight-ish teeth (on the top anyway), pale skin, 5’7″, curvy with quite a rack, I have glasses but won’t wear them anywhere but at work or home *because I’m stubborn*

Personality I’m very friendly, I love going out and doing stuff, quite sociable, very nerdy about some things, very sensitive, rather thoughtful and introspective, adventurous and always up for anything, pretty easy-going, a planner

40. Describe the type of person you’re looking to date (physically AND personality-wise): N/A

41. In what ways do you want your date to be different from you? N/A

42. What or who makes you laugh (e.g. puns, a specific comedian)? Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Flight of the Conchords, Puns, Stupid Jokes

43. In what ways would you say you are very ‘New York’? I wish I was ‘New York’ – I would love to live there, and fit in there, and belong…but…alas, not at this time. Maybe someday!

44. Pets: Woof, Meow, Other/Neither, Allergic: I have a dog and two cats (but the cats are currently seeking a new home due to my Wee One’s horrific allergy situation)

45. Favorite kind of food (Italian, Mexican, Sushi, etc): Sushi!

46. Any dietary restrictions we should know about (Kosher, Vegetarian, Vegan, etc.): Nope

47. Are race, religion or age important factors regarding who you date? (This won’t be published, but is important so we know who you’re looking for) N/A

48. How would you describe what you are looking for with this experience? Just want to have a fun night? Looking for a repeat date? Someone for the long haul? N/A

49. Anything else we forgot to ask? I think you got it all!

50. After your date, is it ok if we contact you in the following months to follow up? N/A

Some of these questions are so great for getting to know people in general, regardless of whether there is a love connection or not – but others are rather dating-specific. It’s a fun questionnaire nonetheless, and guaranteed to help you get to know someone a whole lot better! I would love to hear some of your answers!!!

xxx

PS: If you happen to be reading this, live in the NYC area and are single and looking for love – do reach out to Dan I think he’d make a fantastic boyfriend for you I love love

March 31, 2013 by Leanna

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

Happy Easter! I hope that you’re having a lovely Easter weekend with your favorite people and bunny rabbits – be hoppy, friends! This weekend, I was lucky to have my dear sweet friend from Canada here with us – and we’ve had a looooooovely time! On Thursday night, we had dinner at StoneWerks at The Rim (I had smoked salmon flatbread – so delicious!), and then stopped at my beloved Hills and Dales for a beer on the way home. On Friday, we did some shopping in the morning, met my folks for lunch at Tiago’s, and then headed down to the Riverwalk on Friday evening! We went to Howl at the Moon, which I absolutely LOOOOOVE and never get tired of – and, as usual, Happy Hour at Howl did NOT disappoint! The musicians there are SO talented, the staff are amazing…it is always the best time! I gave my phone to my friend to take pictures with while we were out – either she had A LOT to drink or had trouble operating the camera, because the shots she took were hilarious…not to mention BLURRY!! However, she did get a couple of keepers – check them out!

Downtown San Antonio at night

A blurry – but still fabulous! – pink horse-drawn carriage

Saturday was a quieter, thankfully – we met with my friend’s brother and sister-in-law for lunch (they live here in San Antonio, too! Great coincidence, eh?) at the new Hofbrau at the Rim…here’s a few pictures:

The Hofbrau at the Rim

Ta-dah!

The entrance to the Hofbrau at the Rim

On Saturday night, all of us got together and colored Easter Eggs with my Wee One – and then we watched the movie “Hop”. I had just the best time, and enjoyed having people over SO MUCH!! I spend so much of my time on my own, it seems…so this weekend was such a great treat! I’m not even a little bit Martha Stewart-y (my poor child misses out on so many artistic endeavors because I kind of suck), but I tried.

Our eggs – told you I’m not the craftiest girl in town!

We had an egg-celent good time! Woohoo!!!

On Sunday, we had Easter dinner – my folks came over to join us, and it was a really lovely meal. I had to delivery my beloved friend back to the airport by 3:30pm, which stunk…the weekend went by far too quickly! However, I was so happy that she came, and we always love having her around…she’s just the BEST!

My Wee One made this egg – it’s supposed to be her. Cute, right?

Me in egg form – I’ve never looked better

Easter Dinner! (no judgment about the beer can, eh?)

Mmm….devilled eggs!

I hope that you had a beautiful Easter weekend with your friends and family, and I hope that the Easter Bunny filled you full of the hoppiest of happy times! Je vous aime, mes amis!

xxx

March 30, 2013 by Leanna

22

We’re happy free confused and lonely at the same time
It’s miserable and magical oh yeah
Tonight’s the night when we forget about the deadlines, it’s time uh uh

I don’t know about you but im feeling 22
Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you
You don’t know about me but I bet you want to
Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we’re 22, 22

It feels like one of those nights
You look like bad news I gotta have you, I gotta have you

Taylor Swift, poet laureate of today’s youth, penned the above lines in her ridiculously catchy song “22″ – and I can’t stop singing this damn thing. Ms. Swift keeps doing this to me – it seems to matter not the subject matter, I find myself humming her lyrics at my desk throughout the day, not to mention LOUDLY singing them in the shower each morn. Something is clearly so very, very wrong with me. However, let’s talk about the above lines, shall we? I, too, am happy, free, confused, and lonely (not to mention about 236 other emotions) at any given moment…and I am a hell of a long way past 22 (less than two weeks to go until the big 3-9! The countdown is on, friends!). I’m fairly certain that most of my friends feel the same way, as well – maybe it’s a girl thing, rather than just a 22 thing. Most days, I think that the life I lead is magical, but there are certainly more than my share of miserable moments, too – sad trombone. As for the final line up there, the part about looking like bad news, and having to have that – well, shiver me timbers, friends, if that isn’t just me! I have an unnatural attraction to things that are bad (and shiny – god help me if James Dean rolled up wrapped in tin foil with booze and cigarettes to share), and, while I am managing to somewhat control this the older I get (I am someone’s mother these days after all), I don’t know if my inclination towards things that are bad will ever go away. It’s highly unlikely. I don’t particularly enjoy the thrilling feeling of doing something naughty – that’s not where my attraction lies at all; rather, I am drawn to things that aren’t exactly mainstream, and I have this inclination towards dirty underdogs (metaphorically, not literally FYI). Let me explain.

15 years ago, I met a man in Greece (I wrote about an amazing meal I shared with he and his family in this post) who had the most interesting outlook on life. He wasn’t just a man with a positive attitude and optimistic thoughts, he lived and breathed the best of life every moment of every day. He remains, to this day, the single most inspirational person that I have ever met (he’s kind of my boy-Oprah), and there are so many stories that I could tell you about our brief time together that would blow your mind – he was an incredible man. When we first met, I was telling he and his wife how much I wanted to make a trip to Egypt, to see the pyramids…sounds cool, right? He always approached me with a somewhat paternal attitude, natural probably because I was 23, he was 40ish and showing me around his home land. Following my declaration about Egypt, he began to warn me of the dangers there – the crime, the violence towards women, the poverty, etc…and then he said: But there’s beauty in that dirt. And with that, my life changed.

I’m no stranger to hardship, and my travels have shown me a lot over the years – I’ve seen more than my share of sights I would rather never have seen: children begging in the streets, parents abusing their wee ones to make them appear more pitiful for begging, petty crime played out before my eyes…so many things that hurt the heart. However, my friend was right – even amidst hardship and poverty and misery and heartbreak, there is beauty. There is always, regardless of how bleak something may be, beauty within…and there is beauty within all of us, too. Sometimes, all it takes is someone to look deep enough to find that beauty under the dirty covering – and they can push the filth aside and restore the shine. I think that kind of explains my dirty underdog thing – maybe I want to be the one to uncover a gem…just like I want somebody to look past my filth and faults to see what’s inside.

Just remember: there’s beauty in that dirt.

Xxx

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