Thank U

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! It’s a beautiful day to celebrate being Canadian, and to acknowledge all of the wonderful things that we have to be thankful for. I had a glorious weekend – took the Wee One to see the ballet “Swan Lake” at the gorgeous Tobin Center here in downtown San Antonio, and followed that with a trip to Houston on Saturday to see one of my very favorite Canadian bands ever…the Tragically Hip. It was AMAZING!!! Let me tell you allllllll about it! :-)


The show was at the House of Blues in downtown Houston — a fantastic venue. It was small, and the show was kinda like having them perform in your own living room. The audience was FULL of Canadians – which is where the real magic was. We talked to complete strangers, bonding over where we were from (Calgary, Edmonton, St. John, Ottawa, Montral, and Victoria), and past great Hip shows that we had seen along the way…it was like a big ol’ love in. The audience was pretty much composed of Canadians and the few Americans that love them…it was fantastic! Once the show began, we made our way close to the stage, a drink in each hand, and danced and sang along for just about two magical hours – it was incredible!! They did almost all of their greatest hits (except for ’38 Years Old’ – I’ll post the video below), lead singer Gord Downie delighted with his oddly fascinating dance moves (I could watch that man move for hours on end, no lie), and I felt like I was at home. I knew three people at the show – yet felt like I was surrounded by a sea of friends. There’s something to be said about hanging with like-minded individuals, sharing a common love for something, and having a shared experience – it was a really, really great night. :-)


Here’s ’38 Years Old’ for your listening pleasure:


Here’s my favorite Hip song:

All right

Bourbon blues on the street, loose and complete
Under skies all smoky blue green
I can’t forsake a dixie dead shake
So we danced the sidewalk clean

My memory is muddy, what’s this river that I’m in?
New Orleans is sinking, man, and I don’t want to swim

Colonel Tom, what’s wrong? What’s going on?
You can’t tie yourself up for a deal
He said, Hey, north, you’re south, shut your big mouth
You gotta do what you feel is real

Ain’t got no picture postcards, ain’t got no souvenirs
My baby she don’t know me when I’m thinking bout those years

Pale as a light bulb hanging on a wire
Sucking up to someone just to stoke the fire
Picking out the highlights of the scenery
Saw a little cloud that looked a little like me

I had my hands in the river, my feet back up on the banks
Looked up to the lord above and said, Hey, man, thanks

Sometimes I feel so good I got to scream
She said, Gordie, baby, I know exactly what you mean
She said, she said, I swear to god she said

My memory is muddy, what’s this river that I’m in?
New Orleans is sinking, man, and I don’t want to swim




I did the Hip proud on Saturday night…with a beer in each hand, I, too, danced the sidewalk clean. What a night! :-)


PS: Quick – here’s some things that I am thankful for: the Wee One, my family/friends/loved ones – both new and old – that I love so much, my coworkers and students at my school, the people who make me happy and spend time with me, the roof over my head, all of the wonderful things that I have going on in my life….it’s damn good to be me most days. :-)


Under the Sea

I took my Wee One to see the Broadway musical “The Little Mermaid” last night…and it was gorgeous!! :-) We both loved it so much!! Such a beautiful show – I loved the new songs that were featured, the sets and costumes were stunning, and the fact that they kept it so true to the movie made my heart super-happy. :-) The two of us cuddled and held hands in our seats, singing and dancing along…it was probably not that thrilling for those seated around us, but we had a brilliant time! Yaaa! :-)



The Little Mermaid


The reviewer for didn’t enjoy the production as much as I did…perhaps I just went on a better night:

Before “The Little Mermaid” starts, the scrim that hangs in front of the set seems to shimmer and bubble thanks to a water-themed projection, and the subtle water sounds can be heard.
It’s an enchanting beginning. The pre-show reminder to turn off any electronic devices — or, in “Mermaid” terms, any “shell phones” — promises a lot of fun, too.

The show doesn’t 100 percent live up to all that, though it does at times.

The musical, which kicks off the 2015-’16 Broadway in San Antonio season at the Majestic Theatre, is based on Disney’s much-adored animated adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale. It is built around Ariel (Alison Woods),a strong-willed mermaid whose fascination with humankind is anathema to her father Triton (Fred Inkley), the king of the sea. His destruction of her altar of human detritus that she’s found in the waves makes her vulnerable to the skulduggery of Ursula the sea witch (the wonderful Jennifer Allen). Ursula, who happens to be the extremely estranged sister of Ariel’s father, offers her a deal that she should refuse. She will make it possible for Ariel to live as a human for three days so that she can pursue the handsome prince (Eric Kunze) she’s been mooning over. If he kisses her in that time, she can stay on the land. If not, she’ll be imprisoned by Ursula. The cost for this questionable service is Ariel’s crystalline voice.

The cast is appealing across the board. Woods brings Ariel to vivid life, and she has strong chemistry with Kunze. Their solo numbers are well-done, and the romance is fun to watch. Inkley is strong, too, capturing the conflicting emotions Triton feels as he struggles to figure out the one child he has who doesn’t seem to fit in. Melvin Abston is a lot of fun as Sebastian, the crab who is one of the few denizens of the deep who understands Ariel. And Allen is clearly having a blast as the eeeeeevil Ursula.

Putting the big swimming moments — Triton hunting for Ariel, Ariel rescuing the prince, and Ariel rising to the surface — up into the air is a terrific approach. And having the mermaids constantly undulating is a great visual, too.

Some of the show’s weakest points are those that evoke stronger screen-to-stage shows. The puppets and Vegas-y pageantry of “Under the Sea” calls to mind “The Lion King,” without as much imagination; and the song “Positoovity,” a tap-dancing seagull bit, as entertaining as it is, plays like a weak cousin of “Hakuna Matata” from “Lion King.” The scenes in the prince’s palace, where the staff fusses over the mute Ariel, isn’t nearly as much fun as similar scenes in “Beauty and the Beast.”

The show’s look, too, is hit-and-miss. The bauble-strewn setpieces that represent the ocean are a lesson in the importance of lighting: Sometimes, when the lighting is just right, they glitter and gleam; when it isn’t, they look chintzy and cheap. The effects aren’t terribly jaw-dropping, either, and Triton’s trident, which is supposed to be tremendously powerful, also looks pretty flimsy.

There were also some sound problems during the first act at Tuesday’s opening problem. That was especially disappointing during “She’s in Love,” in which Flounder (Marco Ramos), a fish with a crush on Ariel, couldn’t be heard most of the time.

Overall, the show is hit-and-miss.


The show is playing here in San Antonio for a few more days – if you have the chance, check it out!! It’s so much fun!!! (and those sets – dynamite!! It totally looked like Ariel was really swimming!!!) Yaaa!!! :-)



How Great Thou Art


If you’ve not read “Tiny Beautiful Things” by Cheryl Strayed yet, walkdontrun to the nearest chair, throw your arse in it, and start reading – it is THAT good. Here’s the Amazon synopsis of the book:

Life can be hard: your lover cheats on you; you lose a family member; you can’t pay the bills—and it can be great: you’ve had the hottest sex of your life; you get that plum job; you muster the courage to write your novel. Sugar—the once-anonymous online columnist at The Rumpus, now revealed as Cheryl Strayed, author of the bestselling memoir Wild—is the person thousands turn to for advice.
Tiny Beautiful Things brings the best of Dear Sugar in one place and includes never-before-published columns and a new introduction by Steve Almond. Rich with humor, insight, compassion—and absolute honesty—this book is a balm for everything life throws our way.

Please excuse the bad word, but this is brilliant. :-)

Please excuse the bad word, but this is brilliant. :-)

I wasn’t a reader of Dear Sugar – I’d never heard of it before, but I do love me a good advice column. I’ve often thought of seeking assistance from a therapist (as I’m clearly not that great at taking care of my emotional well-being on my own), but perhaps Dear Sugar is the better way to go – except that Cheryl isn’t writing this anymore. Her advice is amazing, the heartbreaking honesty that she brings to the task revolutionary…I can’t even. And I don’t use expressions like ‘I can’t even’ . Read this passage: “The most terrible and beautiful and interesting things happen in a life. For some of you, those things have already happened. Whatever happens to you belongs to you. Make it yours. Feed it to yourself even if it feels impossible to swallow. Let it nurture you, because it will. I have learned this over and over and over again.”  Doesn’t that nearly kill you? I know – me, too.

If you were going to write to Dear Sugar, what would you say? What things inside of you do you want to know about? Here’s what my letter would say:

Dear Sugar,

I need help with relationships – specifically, how to keep them, how to nurture them, and how to keep them alive. I have rolled from one relationship to another in my lifetime, rarely stopping to settle in to any of them – I’ve always been on the move to the next one. I don’t know how to stick with things when the going gets tough, and it has to be said that I have the attention span of a flea. I apply this to most of my life – I’ve repainted my bedroom three times in 6 years, I own 9 complete sets of bedding for my bed (nothing changes up a room like new bedding!), I’ve changed jobs a bunch of times,  I’ve lived in countless different homes over the years, and – apart from the friends I grew up with – I don’t seem to be able to keep a circle of friends for any length of time. I want love, happiness, companionship, and a happy ending, but I fear that I’m not worthy since I can’t figure out how it goes. Help, Sugar!




Or, it might go like this:

Dear Sugar,

How do I shut off the voices in my head? They keep me up at night, nattering on about the most hateful of topics. Every evening when it’s time to go to bed, I watch TV until I’m dozing, hoping to trick the voices into taking the night off. Instead, as soon as I shut off the TV, the eyes spring open and the voices start hollering about how pathetic I am, how it’s no wonder I go to bed alone every night because who could ever want me, and on and on and on. These voices are real assholes, Sugar…and they need to go away. As I go about my business during the day, I give the illusion of having my shit together, and I’ve managed to make most people believe that I have. At night, though, it’s a different story altogether – and I’m tired. I want a good night’s sleep, and I want to wake up believing that I’m something other than a loser. I’m exhausted.


Tired and Cranky


Here’s how Sugar might answer (these are excerpts from her book)…

…cultivate an understanding of a bunch of the other things that the best, sanest people on the planet know: that life is long, that people both change and remain the same, that every last one of us will need to fuck up and be forgiven, that we’re all just walking and walking and walking and trying to find our way, that all roads lead eventually to the mountaintop.

…It’s going to be difficult, but that’s no surprise. The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love most deeply in a new, more fractured light. Look hard. Risk that.

…Do it. Doing so will free your relationship from the tense tangle that withholding weaves…Withholding distorts reality. It makes the people who do the withholding ugly and small-hearted. It makes the people from whom things are withheld crazy and desperate and incapable of knowing what they actually feel. So release yourself from that. Don’t be strategic or coy. Strategic and coy are for jackasses. Be brave. Be authentic. 


I hope that you’ll grab ‘Tiny Beautiful Things’ and give it a read…it’s just so great, and there are few things as precious and beautiful as a good book. I hope you’ll enjoy it – I can’t wait to hear what you think! :-)



Any Way You Want It


What do you want out of life? This question is much harder than it seems on the surface. I thought about it and made a list the other day – here’s a few of the things that I came up with:

-A salary increase of at least $25,000 within the next 3 years

-Shorter working hours – down to 60 hours/week instead of the current level

-More time with my little one!! :-)

-A really pretty wardrobe (including appropriate accessories)

-Some work done on my house – I want my home to be my castle! :-)

-A LOT of work on my yard! (you’ve no idea how badly it needs it!)

-More opportunities (and funding!) to travel

-A writing career – even if it’s only part time, I want this so badly

-A promotion at work

-A healthy, happy love relationship

-A close relationship with my friends

-Love and Attention


From what I understand, the first step in getting the things that you want is to clarify exactly what it is that you want. While I know that the list above is by no means exhaustive, it is certainly a start. Here’s an article that I found that explains how to program your mind to get what you want….who doesn’t want that??! :-)

Decide What You Want
In order to get what you want, you must first decide what you want. Most people really foul up at this crucial first step because they simply can’t see how it’s possible to get what they want — so they don’t even let themselves want it. 
Don’t sabotage yourself that way! What scientists now know about how the brain works is that you must first decide WHAT you want, before your brain can figure out HOW to get it. Once you lock-in your desires, your mind and the universe can step in.

Be Willing to Dream Big Dreams
As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, they compel others to want to play big, too.

Set Goals That Will Stretch You
Another value in giving yourself permission to go after the big dreams is that big dreams require you to grow in order to achieve them. In fact, in the long run, that is the greatest benefit you will receive from pursuing your dreams — not so much the outer trappings of fulfilling the dream (an expensive car, impressive house, loads of money and philanthropic opportunities), but who you become in the process.
As I’ve seen many times over, the outer symbols of success, can all be easily lost. Houses burn down, companies go bankrupt, relationships end in divorce, cars get old, bodies age and fame wanes, but who you are, what you have learned and the new skills you have developed never go away. These are the true prizes of success. Motivational philosopher, Jim Rohn advises that “You should set a goal big enough that in the process of achieving it, you become someone worth becoming.”

Service to Others
Something else you’ll discover is that when your dreams include service to others — accomplishing something that contributes to others — it also accelerates the accomplishment of that goal. People want to be part of something that contributes and makes a difference.

Turn Your Dreams into Goals and Objectives
Once you are clear about what you want, you must turn each item into a measurable objective. By measurable, I mean measurable in space and time — how much and by when. For instance, if you were to tell me that you wanted more money, I might pull out a dollar and give it to you, but you would probably protest, saying “No, I meant a lot more money — like $20,000!” Well, how am I supposed to know unless you tell me? Similarly, your boss, your friends, your spouse, your brain — God, the Universe — can’t figure out what you want unless you tell them specifically what it is. What do you want — exactly — and when do you want it by?

Write Your Goals Down
Write your goals down in detail, and read your list of goals every day. This will keep your subconscious mind focused on what you want. For an even more powerful approach, close your eyes and focus on each goal and ask yourself, “What is one thing I could do today to move toward the achievement of this goal?” Write down your answers and take those actions.

To help your reticular activating system begin finding YOUR wants in unexpected places, take time now to decide what you want and start writing!

Remember, don’t hold back!


Now – when I look back on the few things that I jotted down up top, I can see that I have a lot of finetuning to do! I need to be more specific, I need to make my list of things more manageable, and quantify how I want these things to be. I need to sit down – and here’s the hard part – and create a list of goals that I want to have happen. I need to put these goals and dreams all over the place, and surround myself with them – they need to be more visible than just a spot in my work notebook. I need to make these things a priority for me, and I need to think on them every single day, making them part of the fabric of me. I can do this….I think I can, I think I can. :-)




Girls Just Wanna Have Fun


For whatever reason, I never watched “Gilmore Girls” when it was on – I’m not sure if I didn’t get the channel in Canada or what, but…the entire thing went right over my head. I know that I didn’t see it on British TV when I lived in the UK, and by the time I moved to the US it was nearly over, so…totally missed the boat. Over the years (and especially as my Muppet has gotten older) many people have commented on how the Wee One and I have a relationship that’s not that different from the one between Lorelai and Rory. I hoped that this was a compliment, but was never entirely sure – until a few weeks ago. During a particularly raucous bout of cryptospiridium poisoning (which is nowhere near as fun as that flashy title sounds), I was stuck at home for days. I wasn’t chained to the pot in my bathroom, but things were pretty damn close. I did nothing but lay in bed, wishing to perish a quick and painless demise – it was vile. I passed the time by finishing all five seasons of “Alias” (another show I had missed out on – what fun! Bradley Cooper was so dreamy!!), the “Wet Hot Summer” series on Netflix (featuring the ageless Paul Rudd, that bugger), and the first few episodes of “Gilmore Girls”. And…I’m hooked. I friggin’ LOVE this show – it’s so awesome. I want to move to the town of Stars Hollow yesterday, and I could become very accustomed to having the lovely Luke make me my coffee every morning. Lorelai and Rory’s relationship is kind of similar to the Muppet antics that go on at our house…while I hope that I am slightly more mature and responsible than Lorelai, I do certainly think that my attitude towards things with the little one is not that far off from hers. I am crazy for this show – so awesome! :-) Even though I’ve never seen it before, there’s something so familiar about it…it reminds me of home. :-) (Plus, I’m mega-nostalgic for the 90s these days for some reason, so….yet another reason to binge-watch!)


I’ve been feeling really homesick lately, and longing for small town life…words I never thought I would utter. The traffic here in San Antonio has absolutely plummeted down the shitter this summer, and it’s wearing me down. I’ve taken to planning my social life around traffic patterns, which is a practice I absolutely loathe – and something I swore I’d never do again after my years living in traffic purgatory (AKA Washington, DC/Northern Virginia). The start of the school year has not helped our already craptastic traffic patterns, as every fool (and their dog) are on the road at the same time, and nobody is getting anywhere. It’s terribly frustrating, and really cramping my style – I’m over it! I told someone the other day that I want to move to a small town, work at a school there, and have livestock be the only traffic barrier that I contend with….wouldn’t that be nice??! :-)



The other alternative is move to a metropolis, put the car in storage, and go public transportation all the way. While grocery shopping would take some major adjustments, I think I could SO adapt to this way of life. I love having other people drive me places (probably because it rarely happens), I like looking out the windows and watching the world go by. I love being in cities where you can walk everywhere (which never friggin’ happens here in San Antonio – things are so far apart, and since it’s hotter than the depths of hell here for half of the year, walking isn’t an option), I love sitting on benches and people watching…all of the things that I bet I could do if I moved to a bigger urban center. My beloved New York would be nice!!!! :-)


However, despite my longings for new beginnings and change, I guess I will have to stay here for now – wandering is tough when you’ve got a Muppet in tow. Time to pretend that San Antonio is just a slightly overgrown Stars Hollow (I wish!).  I wonder if the longing to roam and wander will ever leave my system…highly unlikely, I imagine – but I think I’m pretty okay with that. :-)


I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing

The start of a new school year is an exciting, chaotic time….I tend to lose myself in all of the excitement of new students and new notebooks, rarely stopping to take time to smell the roses or the aroma of the binding on said new notebooks. However, I took a five minute time out today, sat under my desk (it’s my happy place :-) ), and thought about a few of my favorite things these days. Here you go:

1) The song ‘S.O.B’ by Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats:

This song is EVERYTHING. EV-ERY-THING. Love. :-)

If your hiney isn’t up and dancing, then you need to consult a medical expert…there’s clearly something wrong with you.


2) These shoes:


I ordered these babies from Italian shoe campany Tipe e Tacchi….at least I think I did. I fell in love with them when Kat from Rock’n’Roll Bride shared a picture of them on Instagram, and I knew that I HAD to have them. The damn shopping site is only in Italian, and while I can holler ‘gelato’ and ‘manicotti’ with the best of them (think Kevin Kline in “A Fish Called Wanda”), I still remain uncertain if I did indeed order them or not. I check the post hopefully each day…because those are some seriously fab shoes that I think will be perfect on my feeties! :-)


3) Speaking of awesome things, behold my new Betsey Johnson bag:


Yep…it’s a hot pink typerwriter bag. With chain straps. It’s AMAZING!!! I love it with all my heart! Yaaa!!! It really doesn’t take a lot to have me excited, does it? 😉 (NOTE: This is the annual First Day of School picture of the Wee Muppet and I – could she be more gorgeous??! I doubt it!!)


4) My Bando Agenda:

This thing is everything for a planner nerd like me – I love it SO MUCH:

image image


I’ve always delighted in a good planner, but man alive is this one ever a life changer. I don’t know how people survive without a good planner!!


5) This:


I’m a graduate again! Yaaaa me!!! :-)


What are you excited about these days?



I spent some time in Austin recently…there aren’t words to express how much I love that town – it’s so awesome!! :-) Here are some highlights from my trip:

I stayed at the Hotel Ella, a place that was SO BEAUTIFUL I cannot recommend it enough – gorgeous! The staff were outstanding, the place was stunning, there’s incredible artwork all over the property…I could have stayed there forever. Love. :-)










Don’t you want to just sit on that veranda and drink cocktails all day long? I know…me, too! :-) I did some amazing eating (and drinking!) while I was gone – I visited The Salty Sow, which was really great…and The Odd Duck, which I absolutely LOVED!!! I can’t remember having a meal that I enjoyed so much! Delicious!!!! :-) Here are some highlights:


Bangers – one of my absolute favorites in Austin!


Isn’t Bangers pretty at night? :-)


My new favorite summer drink…Crispin Apple Cider with a splash of raspberry! Yum!


Poutine – my very, very favorite :-)


Duck and fig sausage – heaven in casing!


This was antelope and venison sausage…I can’t recommend it enough! So good!!!



This sign makes me happy :-)


No visit to Austin is complete without visiting the bathroom at Craft Pride! Woohoo!


Sitting on the patio at Shady Grove


Tamale Pancakes from Shady Grove – ridiculously delicious!


Truffle Devilled Eggs from The Salty Sow


Roasted Beets with Goat Cheese – SOOOO GOOD!!!! :-)


Pork Belly – should get in my belly more often!


Smashed new potatoes


Bananas Foster Beignets…a highlight of the weekend!

A Moroccan dish from the Hill Country Food Truck Festival in Luckenbach

A Moroccan dish from the Hill Country Food Truck Festival in Luckenbach

Parker House Rolls stuffed with pig face - that's what the menu said, so I had to order them. You don't walk past pig face, friends.

Parker House Rolls stuffed with pig face – that’s what the menu said, so I had to order them. You don’t walk past pig face, friends.

Meet the pig face!! It was INCREDIBLE!!!!

Meet the pig face!! It was INCREDIBLE!!!!

Eggplant fritters in house-made ricotta...delicious!

Eggplant fritters in house-made ricotta…delicious!

Grilled okra - I'm not much of an okra fan, sadly.

Grilled okra – I’m not much of an okra fan, sadly.

BBQ shrimp - divine!

BBQ shrimp – divine!

Twice baked potato with cheese fondue and goat - holy crap for yummy!

Twice baked potato with cheese fondue and goat – holy crap for yummy!

This is the business - it's a pizza with jalapeno, red onion, mango, and lamb bacon on top. You read that correctly - lamb bacon. Who even knew that was a thing? It was friggin GORGEOUS - so yummy!!! :-)

This is the business – it’s a pizza with jalapeno, red onion, mango, and lamb bacon on top. You read that correctly – lamb bacon. Who even knew that was a thing? It was friggin GORGEOUS – so yummy!!! :-)


If you’re assuming that all I did in Austin was eat, you would be assuming correctly…the food there is magical! I am not a lover of chain restaurants and generally do all that I can to avoid them – and doing that was super-easy in Austin, as there was a wealth of great choices to pick from. I can’t recommend the above dishes enough – yummmmmy!!! :-)

I did a few things other than eat and drink while I was there (not much, though) – I went kayaking, which I absolutely LOVED, acquired a new tattoo (woohoo!), and visited the art gallery at UT Austin. There were a few exhibits there that I was interested in, and I loved the museum a lot! :-)

My foot!

My foot! :-)

Isn't this cool?

Art is cool :-)

LOVE :-)

LOVE :-)


I don’t know why I don’t go to Austin more often (probably because I whoop it up a lot when I’m there and that gets costly!)…but I need to visit more often. I love that place – and, I can’t be certain, but I think that Austin loves me, too. :-)  What’s not to love, eh?




Do you know Lindy West? She’s a super-amazing and fantastic writer – and she’s kind of my imaginary friend. I mean she’s real, like a real person….but she is sadly not my friend. Yet. I firmly believe, that if we knew each other, we would totally be friends. For realz. :-) Anyway….Lindy got married recently, and looking at the pictures she tweeted filled me with so much joy, I could hardly stand it. First, she looked RADIANT – like not just typical bride glow-y happy, but other-worldly happy…which was awesome. Second, her dress was the stuff that princess fantasies (at least in my mind) are made of.  Finally? Her new hubby looked at her like he wanted to devour her – who doesn’t want a love like that?!!


When Lindy got engaged, she wrote a piece entitled ‘Why I Can’t Wait to be a Fat Bride‘ , which brings up a lot of interesting things.  She wrote about the idea that society usually expects couples to ‘match’ – I will let her explain:

I wasn’t surprised that this woman took so many wilful leaps past “couple” and landed on “roommates” in her split-second sussing-out of our relationship – it happens literally all the time. But it was a disheartening reminder of an assumption that has circumscribed my life: couples ought to “match”. My partner and I do not. He is thin and I am fat. He is conventionally desirable and I am a “before” picture in an ad for weight-loss tapeworm eggs. It is considered highly unlikely – borderline inconceivable – that he would choose to be with me in a culture where men are urged to perpetually “upgrade” to the “hottest” woman within reach, not only for their own supposed gratification but also to impress and compete with other men. It is women’s job to be decorative (within a very narrow set of parameters) and it is men’s job to collect them. My relationship throws off both sides of that equation, and a startling number of people find it bewildering at best, enraging at worst.


Isn’t she right?? Mind blowing – why is it that men are generally taught (by their friends, society, some secret boy-coven that meets outside of NASCAR and WWE events) to always seek out the most conventionally attractive woman that they can possibly get and lock her down – when sometimes, said woman may in fact be a raging idiot??! Thank goodness that there are loads of men out there who don’t ascribe to that, or I would have never had a date in my life! I have never been, nor ever will be, the hottest girl at any party…and I am so cool with that. However, having said that, I have never wanted for the company of men, either – it’s interesting to me how I have always managed to attract men (some of them – a lot of them – I wish I hadn’t, but…c’est la vie). I was hit on recently while grabbing take out from the bar counter at a local Chili’s, and I giggled as I was walking out of the place at the ludicrousness (is that a word? Should be) of the situation – I’m 41 years old, not skinny, showing the wrinkles, etc…yet somehow, there’s still something alluring enough to bring a complete stranger over to throw some lines at me. How funny. 40 is the new 20…and my milkshake is still bringing the boys to the yard. Bonus! 😉


Anyway – back to Lindy and her magical wedding. When discussing her impending nuptials, she wrote:

So, I grew up assuming that I would never get married (unless I found my own John Goodman – swoon), because marriage was for thin women, the kind of women who deserved to be collected. How could I be a bride when I was already what men most feared their wives would become? I was the mise en place for a midlife crisis. I was the Ghost of Adultery Future. At least, that’s what I’d been taught. And that’s why I can’t goddamn wait to be a fat bride.

As soon as you start making wedding plans, you’re bombarded with (among a million other beckoning money pits) a barrage of pre-wedding weight-loss programmes. Because you’re supposed to be as thin as possible on your special day. After all, there will be pictures! And what if someone remembers your butt as looking like what your butt looks like!? “I’m only eating grapefruit and steam until my wedding.” “I enrolled my whole wedding party in bridal boot camp.” “I bought my dress in a size four even though I’m a size six.” And that’s totally fine, of course, if that’s your priority.

But when I think back on my teenage self, what I really needed to hear wasn’t that someone might love me one day if I lost enough weight to qualify as human – it was that I was worthy of love now, just as I was. So I’ll be fat on my wedding day. Because being fat and happy and in love in public is still a radical act. Attention, every fat teenager on earth: you’re invited.


Isn’t that gorgeous??! I love her – and she is so right: being fat and happy and in love in public is a radical act. And it bloody well shouldn’t be. Everyone one of us deserves to be in love and happy for the whole world to see – regardless of the width of our arses.


Lindy wrote a follow up article after her wedding, and it’s so beautiful that it made my heart sing – you can read it here. Here’s my favorite part:

And to my 16-year-old self, if you’re reading this, listen to Alithea; she is wise: “When I enter into a relationship, I am not filling a hole that society has dug out of my soul, telling me that I am fat, and because I am fat I am ugly, and because I am ugly I am unlovable. I am there, in their bed and in their life, for the purest of reasons, not because I am insecure and need the external validation that a patriarchal society has taught us to seek. I am not seeking validation from a partner, I am seeking partnership in that partner.”

I have never in my life been fatter than I was on my wedding day, I have never shown my body in such an uncompromising way, and I have never felt more at home in that body. I was fully myself, and I was happy. We are happy. This life is yours, fat girls. Eat it up.


And I’m leaking from my eyes. Again. Bloody hell… what’s better than that? Not much. There is so much crap thrown around in the media these days about how we need to look, and what we need to do to look that way, and it’s such pure bullshit. We look how we look. It’s pretty straightforward. And you know what we need to do to look that way? Nothing. Just do us. We are more than enough. Satis sum – I am enough. Words to live by, friends.



Follow Your Arrow

This summer has been decidedly different for me – the Wee One and I have stayed home, and spent a lot of time together…it has been lovely. We have done lots of fun things, and we’ve been getting out a fair bit – but we have taken time to relax, chill, and smell the roses, too. While I’ve missed having one of our great ‘fancy girl trips’ that we love so much, we have had such a good time together…and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. The end of the school year was rough, and frankly I was in desperate need of some time to just slow down and take it easy – which is exactly what I’ve done. In one day in May, a young girl had a drug overdose in front of me (she’s fine, thank god) and a dear friend and colleague suffered a heart attack and collapsed in my arms (she’s okay, too)…followed by a second colleague entering the hospital the very next day with a mystery illness that’s still not been diagnosed – two months later. This trifecta of misery reminded me of the fragility of life and the fleeting nature of us, and of our mortality…and I realized that I could not keep up the pace that I’ve been operating at – or I would be the next to drop. As Kacey Musgraves sings in her excellent song “Follow Your Arrow”, ‘Say what you think / Love who you love / ‘Cause you just get / So many trips ’round the sun / Yeah, you only / Only live once’. Life is too short to not enjoy yourself….it’s not worth it. So….this is what I’ve done! I’ve hardly gone in to work on my time off, I’ve turned down quite a few social invitations, I’ve only said yes to that which matters to me – and I’ve done a lot of nothing. I have been binge watching a bunch of great TV, watching my kid swim at her swimming lessons, and done a ton of good eating at great restaurants. This is how summer should be! :-)

Deviled Eggs from Whisky Cake - yum!

Deviled Eggs from Whisky Cake – yum!

I've been on a quest to learn to like Brussels Sprouts...these ones at Whisky Cake are damn respectable! :-)

I’ve been on a quest to learn to like Brussels Sprouts…these ones at Whisky Cake are damn respectable! :-)

The Twice-Fried Chicken Wings from Hot Joy are what dreams are made of. DIVINE!!!!

The Twice-Fried Chicken Wings from Hot Joy are what dreams are made of. DIVINE!!!!

Smashed Cucumber salad from Hot Joy - I am aware that it looks rather odd, but....SOOOO GOOOOOD!!!

Smashed Cucumber salad from Hot Joy – I am aware that it looks rather odd, but….SOOOO GOOOOOD!!!

The Wee One had a gift card from her favorite store - instead of buying herself a cute outfit, she chose to get us matching sparkly unicorn necklaces that say BFF on them. My heart is so full. :-)

The Wee One had a gift card from her favorite store – instead of buying herself a cute outfit, she chose to get us matching sparkly unicorn necklaces that say BFF on them. My heart is so full. :-)


I’m well aware that these images are nowhere near as exciting as most people’s summer vacation pictures, but….they mean the world to me. They are visual representations of time well spent with the people who love me most – and what could possibly be better than that? :-)



Does Fort Worth Ever Cross Your Mind?

Does Fort Worth ever cross your mind? If not, it totally should – what a great city!! I’ve been here all week for an Advanced Placement Summer Institute conference – and, while I would rather have been at home in San Antonio with my Wee One, I have really enjoyed getting to see some of the city. I want to get planning a trip back here as soon as I can – there’s a lot I want to see and do! :-)

I saw some of the Stockyards area, which is really cool – it looked like an Old West down, and the preservation/restoration of this awesome neighborhood is really well done. Unfortunately, the remnants of Tropical Storm Bill were wreaking havoc on this area, making it far too wet to stroll around outside, but driving through the area was great. :-)



Fort Worth is a brilliant food town – and we all know how I love me some good eating! 😉 I am not a fan of chain restaurants, so trying new and different places is one of my very favorite things to do – and this city is a fab place to do this! We had dinner at Rodeo Goat on Sunday night – I had the Sugar Burger, which was one of the most delicious and unusual things I’ve ever had (grilled peaches should always be on every burger every where every day). We shared an appetizer called ‘The Steaming Pile’ (if you’re a regular reader, you know that I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, so you are correct in your assumption that I ordered this one totally because of the filthy name!) – it was jalapeno tots smothered with goat cheese, a sharp cheddar, and bacon. O.M.G. Good eatin’ here, folks…DELISH! :-)

The Sugar Burger from Rodeo Goat in Fort Worth...unreal! Grilled peaches on top of a burger!! Who knew??! Delicious!! :-)

The Sugar Burger from Rodeo Goat in Fort Worth…unreal! Grilled peaches on top of a burger!! Who knew??! Delicious!! :-)

The Steaming Pile....of goodness! ;-)

The Steaming Pile….of goodness! ;-)


We had a delicious sushi meal at Blue Sushi Sake Grill – really different things, which I thoroughly enjoyed. One of my colleagues that I was dining with is a real sushi afficionado, and letting him order for me was an excellent decision. :-)

Awesome sushi from Blue Sushi Sake Grill in Fort Worth....I heart sushi!! :-)

Awesome sushi from Blue Sushi Sake Grill in Fort Worth….I heart sushi!! :-)


A real standout this week was Torchy’s Tacos – apparently we have one of these in San Antonio, and I feel that my life has been empty up to this point since I’ve never heard of this place before. I cannot wait to go back many, many times, working my way through their awesome menu. I ordered something called the Trailer Park Hillbilly from the secret menu – and my life is forever changed for the better. Yaa me! :-)

Heaven, my taco form. :-)

Heaven, my friends…in taco form. :-)


I had a great meal at Bird Cafe (we tried a bit of everything on the menu – and I highly highly recommend the food), Cane Rosso (friggin’ delicious pizza), Carshon’s Deli (a really weird, old school deli with BLOODY AWESOME food – be sure to take cash, though, as they don’t accept credit cards)…but I didn’t get pictures of these places. However, I feel confident that I will visit them again someday, so….stay tuned, friends! :-)


When I come back to Fort Worth, I want to do the touristy things: the Stockyards, the zoo, the botanical gardens….there is SO MUCH to see and do here! I hope Fort Worth is on your mind – because it sure is on mine! I can’t wait to come back! 😉